Since the pandemic started, I've sat at the keyboard and began to write this blog - and started and stopped and started and stopped, ad infinitum (I have no idea what ad infinitum means). Looking at my schedule the past few months, I've actually done a lot of things, but my mind was certainly on auto-pilot. I did the best I could. Now I'm trying to begin again. Here is the clearest empirical indicator of what this means: Since the pandemic started, and even before, I stopped using the word "Good" before these words: morning, afternoon, evening, and night. Over the last several days, I unconsciously started using the word "Good" again. Full disclosure - my not using the word and my using the word was not totally influenced by the pandemic. But it was a happy coincidence and meaningful.
I finally said to myself, "enough of this." Listen to what you preach. Where is your hope? Where is your joy? Do the best you can. You're not perfect (please keep those last three words confidential.)
I carefully dissociate myself with those who use words like "restarting" and act as if this pandemic is not real, does not need our total attention and vigilance, and who act as if science is simply a form of fiction. If those people use the same words that I do at times, I just want you to know that I'm not like those people.
I'm taking a chance announcing a daily blog. The "daily" pressure to write has always been a struggle in the best of times. But I will give it everything I can. Maybe over time, some of the circumstances in my life will ease up a bit and I won't feel as much stress. Or maybe, I just need to handle "me" better! Or a combination of both.
My final words for this new beginning: God help me - that is not a risk, it is a conviction.