Jim Mahoney's Blog - Sacred to Etc.

Loyalty - a quality I respect - and hope I have! September 1, 2022

Loyalty - May I be the kind of person my dog thinks I am!

In my life, I was blessed with two wonderful goldens in succession- they were both loyal; they were everything that you could wish for from a friend; Marsi had the most intelligence. Deedee had charm, but, when a leaf fell on the lawn, she ran away in fear. She seemed to be afraid of her shadow! I was intriguing to me what different personalities these two dogs had.  Both were loyal - constantly. I never worried about that. (The above picture is not her picture. Somehow, I have lost her picture  - which is a shame since she was the model for the golden on the Alpo dog food can.  I lived with a star (never an easy thing, but they are a blessing regardless of their awesome natural beauty!

I have always had a thing about loyalty. I try (but do not always succeed to be loyal to a fault. I think that I am, but a close friend suggested that I may be overstating my case - which hurt - so I have discarded that person as a friend. Like many people, I am looking for mindless sycophants! Not really - but unadulterated praise would be great to have. (That could get tiresome, but some days, I am willing to risk it.) I generally believe that I am a loyal friend, a darn loyal friend. . For me, loyalty to my friends is pretty much given unconditionally. My study of sociology tells me that this comes from being born in Chicago. Makes as much sense as anything else. As my late and dear friend, Andrew Greeley, remarked once, people will never understand Chicagoans without knowing this simple fact. They are loyal. Greeley expressed this with his usual tentative approach: "people from Chicago are never ever disloyal to their friends." He was right on this and so many other things.

I am just dumbfounded when people who are close friends are just disloyal.  It does not happen often, but often enough. Once is too much. *How's that for a balanced and forgiving approach to life. Sigh, well, I keep trying.

I am so taken aback when someone speaks to me about a person who is apparently a really close friend- and they just trash the person. I almost feel like telling the other person - be careful, that person is nothing more than a fair-weather friend. I have never done this - but wonder whether I should. I have always resisted the temptation. It does not seem right to me. But it still stinks. You have to be able to trust your friends - that is part of being a friend. Just saying! That is enough pontificating for one post.

To have a friend is a precious gift. Why destroy it if you cannot keep your mouth shut. 

This is why I love dogs. They are loyal in-season and out-season. Human beings are funny. Dogs are serious. I can live with this arrangement in the world.

I'm starting to fade a little now. So enough for now. Pray in thanks for your friends who accept you unconditionally. They are precious and beyond all measure. Don't take them for granted. Ever.

The pandemic caused me to lose contact with some great friends. I'm not going to pursue that situation - and re-establish valuable connections. Hope they are willing. 

 

The Irish have the same thought but a little less elegant: You only know who your true friends are - when the light goes out in the pub.

 

Sorry - a slight ailment - August 30, 2022

Alas, I have been felled by an accelerating bug for a few days. Non-Covid, thank goodness. But it has left me sapped. but now starting to recover my super-powers!

Blog will resume, God willing, this Thursday.

Me and my very attentive imaginary nurse!

 

 

A Slight Change of Focus - I am uncomfortable with haircuts! - August 19, 2022

 This is a canned photo of an elderly priest, purporting to be me, getting a haircut. A few sentences of personal history might prove helpful - but probably only to me - and probably certainly not to anyone else on earth. I hated getting haircuts.  I would postpone getting haircuts until I became frightened at look at myself in the mirror when I woke up.  I felt I looked like Albert Einstein. The barber in the second chair, Keith, thought that I looked like Queen Elizabeth. I am sure this was his effort to tell me that I looked wonderful.  After many years living in the area, I had finally stumbled across the Esquire Barber Shop in Madison. I had driven past it for decades and never looked in. Even more remarkably, I discovered that I knew the owner, John, whom I had always called John the Barber! I cautiously poked my head into the barber shop. The Barber closest to the door said, "Monsignor." - I looked at him and said, "John the Barber?" He had a smile on his face. We embraced - and I truly felt at home in a barber shop. John was a close friend of a close friend who had died. We had many friends in common. Passages from the Bible about the Prodigal Son came quickly to mind - seriously. I was happy. I had found a barber shop. I had rediscovered a friend from many decades ago. 

I instantly changed my routine for getting a haircut. I had always hung around the area of a barber shop until I was sure that I would be the only person waiting for a haircut. I'm shy - and just did not wish to interact. For some reason, I had always felt kind of exposed getting a haircut. I wanted to get in and out. I always brought a book to read. God forbid that I have some human contact. You get the picture. So I braced myself and got a haircut from John the Barber. I spent the entire haircut talking with John. Unheard of - for my usual haircut behavior. I learned that we had many mutual friends. We talked about people who had died - and we both knew well. On and on.

Over the years, I learned that the Esquire Barber Shop was a reservoir of information about the area. I had a pretty responsible position in the diocese - and often John knew more of what was going on than I did. It caused me to listen even more closely. He knew what was happening in the parish and diocese. I had insights on what was going well - and what was not. I learned from John what was happening in other parishes, what programs from the diocese were working and what were not. I can assure you that, whether something was working or not in the parish or the diocese, this barber shop became an important source of information.  I used the information to see what was working- and, most importantly, to see what might be made better - quietly, no fingerprints! It was fun. I came to look forward to listening to the wise people who were sitting down waiting for their haircuts. 

As time went on, I actually started talking with people in the barber shop who were waiting for a haircut.  (Good grief, I was talking with strangers - and actually enjoyed it! Don't think that I am a recluse who never talks with anyone. I do talk with people, but usually only people that I know through my jobs. Until I retired, I used to speak with hundreds of people in the course of a day - and even higher numbers in the course of a week.)

I have obviously relied on Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. The addition of John and Keith to my sources has made me a better person, a better priest.  The Esquire Barber Shop has enriched my life. I am grateful.

If I had to start over now, I would probably look like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Go stress someone else! Not me, please. I choose not to play. August 12, 2022

 

Have you threaded a needle lately?  I have tried to do this, but rhetorically, not in reality. I have not done this for the same reason that I never became a diamond cutter - a quick way to have an expensive diamond shatter into pieces. This may also be the reason why no one ever trusts me with holding delicate crystal. You get the point. I am quite capable of being a klutz - not my choice but clearly something that happens.

There are certain topics or areas of communication where you just have to be so careful. In writing about certain topics, I have to "thread the needle" and practice rather strict message discipline. I like thoughtful exchanges of views. I have practically no patience for those who just deal with political topics or personalities and who clearly have not the slightest interest in what you're saying. I have been assailed more times than I can count with people who just trash me for something I just said, even an observation on a piece of research that I just read.

Today, I don't make the same mistake more than once. It would be different if I was exuberantly flamboyant and hellbent on making my point. I'm not careless with words. But some are looking for a fight or they just don't care. After nearly 50 years in this sacred "business", I just don't have to play with those who do not play nice! I do try to be very respectful of others - especially when getting ever so close to the well-known toxic guard rails of conversation today. Six years ago, these concerns would not come up. Today, they can come up all the time. Sometimes, I do say - let's leave politics out of our conversation tonight. I have to watch my levels of stress. Some respect what I ask. Others do not. 

Over the span of time, I have become much more concerned about the practice of self-care. There are three common themes: love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self. I hope that I have been pretty good about love of God and love of neighbor. My most difficult theme is love of self. 

One of the greatest gifts of my life over the past 15 months has been the practice of transcendental meditation. My practical reason for beginning this practice was to use it as a means of reducing stress. I have done this every single day, two sessions of 20 minutes each. I do this religiously! (What a nice use of the word "religiously.")

Some of the benefits for me are subtle and some are much more evident. Overall, I am more aware of times and conditions that cause me to feel stressed - which is a good thing - since i can easily identify people who give me stress. I might have overlooked this in the past, but really cannot overlook it anymore. I find that I have greater insights into problem solving, in figuring out answers to difficulties. I have better thinking processes. I'm more insightful and analytical. I certainly am more focused. 

I also feel that I'm more spiritual. I feel that I have a closer connection to God. There are so many other areas where I feel there has been benefit from TM.

These are all specific positive changes in my life. I plan to continue these and increase them gradually over the years. Someday, I might not feel stressed Perhaps I can deal with political stuff and not erupt. Who knows!

Lest you become alarmed, my appreciation of the Chicago Cubs continues without ceasing.

My goodness, I hate this heat. In rereading this post Sunday morning, it seems a bit caustic. Next blog will be mellow - I promise.

 

 

     

Cranky - August 5, 2022

For many years, I have made a conscious decision to simply leave the political wars to others. i'll touch on issues occasionally but skirt the political arenas quite carefully. I'm not a culture warrior. Some priests have more of an affinity for political brawls than I do. I must gently observe that a lot of priests who have engaged in partisan political brawls really seem to do little credit to the issues. I find helpful the separation between Church and State and have always tried to observe those boundaries- not perfectly, but hopefully with thoughtfulness. I am well aware that there are folks who would like priests to ignore the separation between Church and State. I am more than happy to follow the leadership of Pope Francis on these issues. 

I can summarize my moral beliefs on life issues in a few words.  All life is sacred, from womb to tomb, regardless of gender, age, social class or orientation. I believe that every person is made in the image and likeness of God.

As I get older, I just don't engage others on these political topics. I won't. If someone wants to engage on these topics, I won't be part of the conversation. Life is far too short. I have had to deal with too much stress in my life. I won't engage. 

I do think that I would like to be a saint. An incredibly long way to go. I am fascinated by my favorite definition of a saint: a sinner who keeps trying. I can be happy with that. 

(I am cutting this short because I am fouling up one of the features on this blog, so I need to fix it. (Let me be more precise. I cannot fix it myself. So I will probably have to wait until the person who can fix it arrives at his place of employment in this morning. Hope that he is not taking the weekend off.)

It is too hot. I do get irritable when it is hot. GRRRRRRRRRRR.  Only last time-specific task to finish today or tomorrow is my homily. By the time I walk into church, I hopefully will have undergone a decent attitudinal adjustment!

Pray for me - as I do for the wonderful people who pray for me. I count on those prayers. By the way, you can count on my prayers as well.