Jim Mahoney's Blog - Sacred to Etc.

Being More Precise about Tasks for Retirement - January 22, 2022

Only Photo of Lincoln Giving the Gettysburg Address (find him?)

I have frittered away the time since I formally retired from everything. In that period, I really spent a lot of time just recovering from decades of working hard, frankly much too hard. I came to understand that there are no prizes giving for working like a dog constantly. Balance is needed - even if it seems such a pain in the neck. I've now starting thinking about what I shall concretely do during retirement. One part of retirement that I have already put into place comes from the practice of Transcendental Meditation - for reasons of health and focus. I really enjoy meditating, especially in this scientifically proven method.

There are many methods of meditation. I came upon Transcendental Meditation because it was an effortless approach. I have found that it has already given me insights, learning, and an awareness of how to relax and lose tension. I have now practiced this for twenty minutes, two times every single day.

I am studying the Scriptures more every week and will continue to do so. But I want to plunge into an area of learning where I only know surface things, and not really anything in depth. I'm starting with Lincoln because he is so fascinating, brilliants, and one of our top three Presidents according to most surveys. We have all been exposed to terrible presidents, now I want to learn more about the other kind, the great ones.

I'm fascinated by historians such as Doris Kearns Goodwin who would spend years getting to know Lincoln. I will begin with some of her writings and just continue from there. You'll know if I continue to work by quotes and insights from Lincoln in homilies and talks. I find that there are so many things I want to do, to learn, and just think about - that I worry there will not be enough time to do all that I want to do. I do know that I'll approach different areas of thought in different ways. My initial aim is not to write, but rather to grow - to fill in the blanks where I just do not know enough about certain important areas of life. One important thing is that I want to use this process to have fun - and why not.

I want to grow as a person now that I am truly in retirement mode. I cringe when I hear this phrase applied to people: dead at thirty, buried at eighty. I don't want that to be me.

Since the Cubs won the World Series, I am not searching for things of more consequence to do. One thing I realize - is that I love ideas, books, thinking about thinking. This may be why I am not trying consciouslyto focus and winow down my approach. I also need to make certain that I am not taking this project too seriously - because that might mean that I am not having fun. I want to enjoy my retirement - and the people who are most deeply part of my life.

Jim, stay focused: You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. – Dr Seuss

 

 

Being Nasty - Do they have a vaccine for this? - January 14, 2022

Lately, I have been running into a higher than usual number of nasty people. I have also been hearing from people in various walks of life about the nasty people they have been encountering lately. One of the kindest people I know is a merchant in local retail establishment. I was in the store when this person walked in. It was easy to tell that this was not going to be pleasant. Well, the nasty person stated right off blaming the merchant for some thing that he did not cause. Went on and an - and finally left in a huff.  I felt bad for my friend because I saw how upset he was.

I then shared with him a spiritual insight, "God will get him!"  He asked, "are you sure?" I said, "positive." He laughed. Then he shared that he was coming across a growing number of nasty people. He asked if I had seen this in my life. I sadly told him that, over the past five years or so, I had seen the percentage of people being nasty to each climb climb and climb.I observed that when people see "public" people just trash each other, with no accountability, things get worse. In families, when people see each other trash each other, it can have deep roots and cause emotional problems in later life. It gets complicated. I share with him the observation that a psychologist friend had shared with me, "all over-reaction is historical." There is a cause for being mistreating each other. It does not come out of nowhere.

I shared this insight with a person I work with who was known for erupting at people. He said, "I disagree with that psychologist. He does not know what he is talking about. (I have news for him/ He does know what he is talking about - and you are Exhibit )  My respect for this individual plummeted over the years. Are there no consequences for trashing other people? It is so sad - and causes preventable harm. These people need help.

At times, I deal with nasty people. Thankfully, not a large number. but enough to bother me. I come across large numbers of people in a variety of settings. I specifically pray for a lot of these people because I fear that they are causing harm. I ask God to help them because I do not have the opportunity or the clinical skills at times to make a wise intervention. It does bother me.

Actions have consequences. Screaming at family members, colleagues, even strangers has consequences. We do bear responsibility for how we treat other people. It is that simple.

I'll come back to this topic from time to time. There are so many things to be shared about this. I raise this topic today because I just want to plant a seed - shouting and screaming can have deep roots in another person's psyche. If you think that this is not true, then you may not be thinking. If you're worried about your screaming at people in your home or in other places. it might be time to think about getting some help. We can all use help. We can all be in denial. Is this you? If so, think about it. Is this the way that God wanted your family life to be? Your work live to be? It does not have to be this way. Please don't think that you are not hurting anyone!

 

 

From Snow Days to Gratitude - January 7. 2022

Remember times like these?

Last night, I looked out the window and saw the snow coming down. I immediately recalled the magnificent great work avoidance project known as "snow days." It was a simpler world then for most people. I loved snow days.  Whenever there was a judgment call aout having a snow day, I always opted for the snow days. I remembered having a big smile on my face when I was at my office in Clifton. The location of that office meant that I could go skiing frequently up at Great Gorge, as it was then called. Great Gorge was all lit. In under an hour, I could leave my office in Clifton and actually be on the ski lifts heading up the mountain. It was a freeing time, a fun time.

The nice thing about skiing is that you were forced to concentrate totally on the skiing or else you would crash into something. I remember having my worst ski accident. Ripped two ligaments apart in my knee, the MCL and PCL, I believe. Required more therapy than I ever wanted. Avoided having surgery. Grew to grimace at rehab, but the rehab folks were first rate. Just reminders that we were not meant to fly, sigh. My present state of conditioning is adequate. I have given up hopes of a professional career in ice skating or skiing. Just getting around without canes or crutches is fine with me for as long as possible.

Part of this is a function of zip code, but my various wears and tears over the years were helped by some wonderful doctors. I always feel blessed to live in an area where there is access to such wonderful doctors - who are often great human beings as well. 

The snow day today caused me to do a lot of reflecting on things that happened to me during winters over the years. The different parts of the world where I skiied, the extraordinary scenery, and just the feeling of peace which ski areas always brought to me. Gratitude is really on my mind today.

I had a little scare this week. I have been thinking about the news reports on how quickly the latest variants are spreading among the population. Since I do have the medical condition of Worried Well, I wondered if I had escaped being affected by this latest plague. I was also thinking about how to be as certain as possible that I would not give COVID to anyone. I dug out the 2 home testing kits for COVID that I had obtained six weeks ago (when they were still easily available on-line.  Read the instructions. Did the test. I looked at the results and uttered an unsavory word. Positive for COVID. Used the second kit and obtained the same results. Used same unsavory word. Spoke with my doctor and asked him what to do. He told me what over-the-counter medications I should take. He also suggested self-quarantining for five days which I began immediately. When I hung up, no more unsavory words, but time to pray.

 

Re-scheduled a few things that I had to do this week. My focus at various times this week was gratitude. I was asymptomatic. No symptoms. No discomfort. No pain. Just my customary worrying. Knowing about the millions of people who have had COVID and suffered or are still suffering, I just prayed with gratitude many times this week. How blessed I am.

When my quarantine ends in a couple of hours, I'm going to go skiing, rappeling, and will climb up the buildings of my apartment complex. Perhaps not. But whatever I do, it will be done with gratitude.

 

 

  

New Year's Resolution - Yes or No? - December 31, 2021 - (actually January 2, 2022)

Every year, I make New Year’s Resolutions. By the 2nd week in January, I have stopped keeping them. By the 1st of February, I have forgotten what my resolutions were. I did these things while still being easily able to sleep at night. 

If I'm going to do something spiritual for Lent, this would seem to work in place of a Lenten resolution = yes? When the rational side of my brain takes over (not a frequent occurrence!), I can usually come up with reasonably good solutions to life's problems. Not always, but more often than not. There are those times when I come up with  burst of insight, throw caution to the wind, and really figure out something difficult.  New Year's resolutions do not have the spiritual baggage of Lenten resolutions - at least they seem to be carefree. Is this possibly why I never seem to complete them? Possibly.

On this topic, as well as many parts of my life, sometimes I do overthink things. Sometimes, I can make things much harder than they need to be. Sometimes, I can just plow through things and get them done. I am usually a jumble of different ways to accomplish different thingsl

The more I think (which means the more I type) I am starting to wonder whether my approach on New Year's resolution is all wrong. I am a devotee of planning devices. I may be the best customer that Franklin Covey ever had! But sometimes, I can overdo it. In retirement, I am trying to simplify my life. I am trying to ruthlessly down side. To do this, I am slowly going through every book, every piece of paper, every article of clothing, every little thing in my little apartment that I have accumulated for more years than I care to count - and trying to figure what makes me happy, what makes me wise, what makes me less tense - and what brings me peace. 

As I ruminate (isn't that a pompous word!!!), I'm starting to feel more comfortable with drastically simplifying my approach to resolutions. I have decided that I need resolutions. I need to keep these as sign posts for my life. But I do not need to obsess over them. I can just do them - and maybe (I hate this phrase) I need to go with the flow.

I have been thinking about the approach that I used when I went on Outward Bound when I was in my early 30's. I had heard a lot about Outward Bound. I had friends who went on it and really liked it.So I did a cursory amount of reading and signed up for the Outward Bound Hurricane Island school up in Maine. It was one of the most transforming events in my life. I was woefully, ridiculously unprepared - but somehow survived it. I was hoping that a relative or friend would be in some type of difficulty and I would have to leave. And it did happen. I went on the survival course, was on a pulling boat with a group of adults of varying ages.

Why am I boring you with this information from many decades ago? Simple, I want so share why I packed a small washcloth on this three week trip. The packing instructions said to bring either a small washcloth or a bath towel. I thoughtfully reasoned that this would mean that towels and other things would be provided. Actually, no. All I had with me was one small washcloth for the 3 weeks. I had gone through the doctoral research on OUtward Bound Effective training, the benefits of the entire approach. Nothing in my research indicated that I would be on a three week trip in the wilderness with only a small washcloth. I also brought a rechargeable razor with me. The instructor said that this was the first one he had seen on their courses. I felt special.

The ocean was about 50 degrees. At night, the mosquitoes were so loud that their noise kept people up. Fierce rains for a couple of days. I did the rock climbing, the rope courses, the rappelling, and every blasted thing they did. I complained throughout every exercise - sometimes just to myself, never to an instructor or another participant. I learned my lesson quickly. I had rappelled halfway down a cliff - and now had to climb up the cliff using the rock climbing techniques they taught us. I had reached a point on the cliff where I did not feel I could climb any higher back up the cliff. I shouted up to the instructor, "I can't climb any further. Would you throw me another rope so I can get up to the top. He shouted down that he felt sorry for me, but lunch was going to be served in 45 minutes and they had no rope to give me. I silently prayed the prayer of the really ticked off. In 30 minutes, I finally mastered going up the cliff = and reached the top just in time to join the other for lunch. I chose now to speak to the instructor for the rest of the day. But sulking really accomplishes very little on Outward Bound. I kept at it. In my life, whenever I come across a problem or challenge that seems just too daunting, I go back to that 3 week course on Hurricane Island - and I realize that there is precious little that I cannot achieve if I focus. This has been a major assist to me in so many areas of my life.

If I could succeed at Outward, then I could succeed at most things in life that I had as challenges. Some things I genuinely failed it, but not for lack of trying. But those are few. They are frustrating - and I have not given up.

My focus for this post in terms of resolutions is now quite simple. I cannot believe that I would let the task of establishing a resolution for the New Year rattle me. Frustrate me a little, perhaps. But really rattle me. Nope. That is ridiculous. I now have a resolution in mind. It is admittedly easier than rappelling or swimming 100 yards off the pulling boat in 50 degree water. Piece of cake. I've been on Outward Bound. I'm an Eagle Scout as well!End of story.

To this day, I really regret not having a camera for those three weeks. They were not allowed. Sigh. So - who would believe I actually did this? I do - and sometimes, that is enough.

I was there. On my oath as an Eagle Scout!

A private question for me:  If recalling the Outward Bound experience has been so positive for me, why does it seldom occur to me to actually do this? Could it be that I'm human? Sigh.