There are various ways to proceed through life. Even Santa gets in on the act - when a song allegedly written by Santa asks if "we've been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes." Bad or good, naughty or nice - these pairs of words can make us smile, but they also apply to real life. And it goes way beyond Santa Claus. Lest you wonder, I really like Santa - so, if you see him, please pass this along.
Where the heck did this subject for a post come from? I was in a meeting recently with a person who is in one of the helping professions. The nature of his life is that he talks with many different people each day. He has done this for decades. At one point in the meeting, he spoke privately about something which was bothering him. He asked if I thought the people that I see are different than they used to be. I was going to respond No until I stopped and really thought about what he asked. Then I said, "Yes. I have personally come across more nasty people in the last two years than in all my years of being a priest."
I went on to elaborate. Usually, the people you come across in Church ministry are nice people. There are always a few who are not, but most are nice. This person shared experiences over the past year. He happens to be one of the nicest people I know - and some people treat him like dirt. I think I'm a nice person, but I still get assailed by people (perhaps they're nice people, but they become "not nice" when they are in front of a keyboard, I don't know.) In my 48 years of being a priest, I only recall 4 people (2 from the parish and 2 concerning the diocese) who ripped me apart face to face rather than through a letter, etc.
But in the last two years, the number of really awful emails and letters has increased dramatically. I have had the kinds of jobs where people have made me the designated recipient of the most awful things they could say when they have problems with the church or church leaders. The last one I received was three weeks ago. The level of anger, vitriol, especially about a situation that I did not cause, usually would have sent my blood pressure skyrocketing. Thanks to my practice of meditation over the last few months, I can keep the blood pressure somewhat lower than in the past. I am profoundly grateful for that. I do not have the strength of character to simply think "well, they are having a bad day." I'm not there yet, but I do hope to be.
I at least think through these situations in ways that I did not do in the past. I instinctively think that this person is really a (insert unsavory word) and that Jesus does not like them. Through the benefits of meditation, I obsess about these things much much less than I ever did in the past.
I think about the really nasty people. I am fortunate to work in a vocation/job/ environment where I generally encounter mostly nice people. A few have slipped through my impenetrable walls lately, I must admit. God will get them (I calmly pray!). To use my "toddler" vocabulary, some people are just mean. I do pray for them - and more often than not, it is a genuine prayer =asking God to help them. Once in a while, it is still genuine but I would not object if God was too busy helping others to help this person. (I'm human.)
I used to think that, as a priest, I had to simply take whatever might be thrown at me. I don't believe that any more. Period. End of Sentence. Isn't life complicated?
I do hope that, overall, I live with integrity and Santa will be good to me. I have been so blessed with extraordinary friends - who keep me going - who gently help me not take myself so seriously- and who are exuberantly nice people.
In the end, at least in our world on this side of the Kingdom of God, we end up with Santa - just as we began. I hope Santa knows that I've tried really hard to be nice!
As I read the above before hitting "SAVE" - I am baffled how this became about Santa. Must be a reason for this.