Lately, I have been ruminating - about the past - about the future - about things that I still want to do. It is an odd feeling being fully retired and no responsibilities since I became an adult This is surely is an elusive category to figure out at times. I readily concede that I must spend more time taking care of myself - with the obvious luxury of actually having enough time free of scheduling conflicts to avoid doing this. I am starting to realize that my life over the past 47 years has been overcome with a calendar and schedule that pretty crammed with activities and an unending array of responsibilities. That is not a bad thing, but clearly a tough obstacle to have time to smell the flowers and all the other things that we are supposed to do. The lack of empty spaces in my schedule gave me little patience for those who suggested meditating, smelling flowers, and whatever else one is supposed to do. Now being fully retired, I can actually decide what I want to do, what I do not want to do, and what I will do when I feel like it. (Is there any resemblance between these last few phrases and the active lifestyle of a toddler? Not totally sure.)
I plan to share my new discoveries about myself in this unfamiliar era of being fully retired. My hunch is that I will be sharing things that might be helpful to people who are not fully retired. My fear is that I will just be so frightfully self-centered that people will recoil in fright. But it seems worth the risk.
I go back to an observation made by Stephen Covey: "some people are so busy driving that they have no time to get gas." This probably explains why often I felt that I was running on empty. Not terribly profound - but it may affect a lot of us. I have the chance now to be more mindful - more deliberate - no thoughtful in what I do. I note this not in saying that I will have to do extra work to figure out things, but I will be less happy when life just rushes by and try to do something about it. I can really luxuriate in doing things that I never did or often wished to do.
As I have mentioned, I am a political junkie. I am a keen student of politics. I have been this way since I was in high school when I read Allen Dulles' book, Advise and Consent. In the past, I watched just snippets of political hearings. This week, I had the chance to watch two whole days of the Senate confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court. I found it fascinating, boring, compelling, infuriating, confounding, ridiculous, and outright fun. I could not watch the third day since I had the beginning of an interminable series of scheduled events associated with a dental implant, but I did watch hours and hours. I never had the chance to these types of hearings. Color me happy. On the last day of the hearings, I was sleepy after the dental surgery = but comforted by the skills of a wonderful oral surgeon who caused me zero pain.
Why do I share these incredibly fascinating observations with you? I want to have fun in retirement. I want to relax. I want to feel peaceful. I want to reduce the stress in my life to as little as absolutely possible. This means that I will have to learn to say no. I have already started doing that - not out of insensitivity, but out of a sense that no one else is going to take care of me unless I take care of myself. (If you think that this means that I won't celebrate your funeral, I have always said that I would celebrate someone's funeral if possible - and if it is celebrated here. I do this not simply out of conviction, but also in the hope that the person who went home to God will put in a good word for me and my friends!)
I do have three major medical things to take care of. (Realize that the word "major" means that it is happening to me, thus it must be major!) They will probably have to be done within the next year or so. I just wont have to cram these things into my schedule, alongside of meetings, conferences, talks, etc. Thank goodness.)
So now I get the chance to be thoughtful - more centered - better focused - and hopefully more fun. Who knows. I might even feel relaxed!
Snoopy gives me practical perspective at times! I need this.
