May I vent? (your silence means that you give me permission - many thanks)
Being in Church ministry, especially times like this when there have been some difficult situations, certainly situations which make many people angry. Heck, I'm angry as well about many things. In addition to these difficult times, the ordinary course of business or ministry means that people complain. Those complaining come in all kinds of categories: the reasonable and thoughtful (I do try to be reasonable and thoughtful to these people); the unreasonable and irrational (I beg God for patience - not always successful); the constant complainers (just difficult to deal with - often, under my breath, I think that this person would probably send back the food at the Last Supper! - these types of complainers drive me nuts); and other types of complainers.
There are some people who complain about something - and, as has happened once in a while, I tell the person that they are absolutely right. In all but one case, the person thanked me and said they appreciated my willingness to listen and to admit that I was wrong. In the one exception, the person kept on repeating what he had said even after I said that I agreed with him. I finally concluded that he just wanted to grandstand, rather than discuss, so I ended the conversation.
I come across some other types of people. I think of this one person in the parish. He makes a point of finding something good in what happened in the parish or in the homily, or something else, and just shares that with me. The constant complainers bring me down. But this type of person raises me up. I am certainly more likely to consider seriously any concern that this person had - far more than the people who just continually complain about things.
I must admit that, perhaps due to my background, just one forceful complainer will really bring me down. I am glad that they cannot read my mind. I do tend to discount positive things that are said to me - and remember for centuries negative things said to me. I am often bemused at how I hold on to things. This is not a good quality, by the way!
Do you have any idea where I am going in this particular post? I'm truly not sure. I do acknowledge that when you serve the public, especially in ministry, you are going to come across all kinds of people. Having done this for over 45 years, I have less patience than I might have had when I began. I'm a strong believer in win-win situations - I do not like win-lose or lose-lose situations. Those are so frustrating.
My reason for making this into a post for my blog is that it is something that really bothers me. I need God's help in handling complaints. I also need God's help in responding to complaints because I am verbally facile - and can probably be quite destructive should I lose my cool at someone. This happens very seldom. I wish that it never happened.
I do notice that at the beginning of this series of 100 posts for my blog, I'm highlighting some negative topics. Perhaps it is an unconscious desire to clear away the negative stuff before focusing on the positive. I'm not sure. I do know that just mentioning a few of these things gets me more focused on the many positive things I want to share.
This series of posts comes at a time when I'm really tired and frequently discouraged. I'm sad, at least on the inside. There are so many problems in the Church and in the world. Awful problems. May I be, even in some small way, part of the solution.
TODAY'S GRATITUDE: So grateful for self-awareness which keeps pushing me to be better - and to become more positive and, especially, joyful.