One of the constant things in my line of work is dealing with the "public." I am differentiating the word "Public" from "parishioners." Parishioners are people with whom you have a bond - formed by living in the same area, seeing each other on many occasions, and it is a continuing relationship. I look at that as totally different from dealing with the "public." Best example would be our carnival. The carnival is open to the "public." However, many hundreds and even thousands of parishioners attend. Dealing with them is a genuine pleasure. We never have any difficulty with our parishioners during the carnival.
Generally, dealing with the "public" at our carnival is different. Personally, I am on a heightened alert for all the hours of the carnival. I am constantly walking around, especially looking for people and patterns that give me pause. Once in a while, there is a guest who just seems a little "off." I ask the police or other volunteers to keep an eye on him or her - acting out of an abundance of caution. It is always a source of comfort to have members of our Chatham Township Police Department helping us during those events. Even though we have had no real trouble, I always breath a sigh of relief when it is over. I recall times when I have seen members of the "public" really trash workers at checkout counters and other venues. I never understood why people do this.
Recently we had a five day spiritual experience. Part of that experience was a work of religious art that is the most cherished images of our faith. Out of respect and safety and protection, we had clear barriers so that people would not be near the statue or close enough to touch it. Four people (not parishioners) chose to ignore these barriers while thousands of other people respectfully followed this simple restriction. Those that did this were not people that we knew - so we just did not know if they were a threat. It is a crazy world. Anyone could do anything if they were close enough. We have no way of knowing who is "safe" and who is "not." No one was going to get away with damaging this statue. I was tense the whole experience - out of concern for the beautiful priceless precious religious object whose safety had been entrusted to us.
In my other job, I often deal with many people usually by correspondence or phone messages who, for whatever reason, are really angry. Now certain things about religion can make people angry, especially today. I understand it, but, frankly, when you are on the receiving end of the invective and you had absolutely nothing to do with the situation, it becomes difficult to treat everyone with calmness even though you try. At the same time, we have to remember that we represent the Church to these people, even when they are just going after us, letting off steam, or frankly filling the conversation with horrible things about another priest or church worker or the pope or every possible person that they can. Sometimes situations are without solutions which is frustrating for everyone. I get frustrated when the person at the other end of a phone conversation or the letter writer does show even one bit of human kindness. I know that we are not going to get anywhere with this particular situation if there is not even a glimmer of human kindness that we can use.
Why am I meandering around on this topic of the "public?" Obviously, it has been on my mind due to a few different situations, both here and there (whatever that means!). None of us is perfect. In a parish, people sometimes cannot appreciate that there is one priest who somehow has to relate with hundreds and even thousands. All kinds of people. All kinds of temperaments. All kinds of situations. It is amazing there are not more fistfights!!
My most common thought in these situations is that an amazing number of people never even consider giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. I doubt that they would like to be treated that way. It is frustrating.
I have no solutions to suggest here - other than truly trying to give each other benefit of the doubt. I certainly know that it can work in families and in relationships. I wish it were considered more often in things beyond the home as well.
This was not the most profound post that I have ever written, but it has been on my mind - and maybe you encounter things like this as well.
TODAY'S GRATITUDE - I know someone who gives me the benefit of the doubt - a lot. What a good person. People that don't do this - perhaps not so much!