(confidential information only to readers of this blog: The Yankees will win the World Series. The Cubs are not playing this year. Keep this to yourself. Thank you.)
LIke you, I have interactions with lots of different kinds of people. Some of these are formal. Some are quite casual. Some are spontaneous. Others are planned. I was thinking the other day about two different persons that I have to interact with a lot. Let's call them Person A and Person B. I won't give gender or job to keep this private. But they are very real people. Maybe you know them or people similar to them.
Oxygen is a good example to use for the value that people bring to meetings, conversations, and even life.
Person A: To be concise, Person A takes the oxygen right out of a room. When this person arrives, they take up a lot of space. Immediately, all attention is focused on them. It is like a balloon suddenly has the air escaping quickly and becoming deflated. They have authoritative opinions on everything even when they don't really know things. Their comment are always focused on themselves, what they did, what they will do, and how many things they have done. Shall we say, I don't like Person A - but they operate in some of the areas where I work. Did I mention that they are also loud? I do tense up when Person A walks into a room. (Person B as I describe them is actually a composite of two people I deal with.)
Person B: To be concise, Person B is so life-giving that they gently quietly add oxygen, fresh air, insight, and value to any group or conversation. I always want to hear this person's take on things. They don't bring their own agenda into every conversation so you have to figure out if they're present to help everyone or just promote their own stance. In the Gospel, people spoke of being "without guile." That is Person B. Their agenda is never their personal preference, but what would benefit the whole group. A genuine pleasure to be around. I learn so much from Person B. I am relaxed when they are around.
The purpose of this post is not to compile a list of different types of personalities, but instead to share what I've been thinking about these two different types of people. Obviously, I really do not like Person A (did I mention this?). I really like and value Person B. But, when I'm being totally forthcoming and self-aware, I look at some of the characteristics of Person A and worry that I do have some of those same characteristics. I hope people don't notice this, but probably they do. This is another case where the person that I criticize for certain things is actually doing things that I tend to do at times. I wince when I hear this passage from the Gospel: "Physician, heal thyself." Sigh. This has come up a few times lately in these recent posts, so they do bother me.
Just writing down the above words makes me more determined to make sure that I am far more Person B than Person A. Is it that I want to be perfect? (Do you even think that I might not be perfect? Don't answer that, please. I'm sensitive.)
It is disconcerting to realize that I take on habits and characteristics that I really cannot stand in other people. As a child, I hated weeding in my parents' garden. Perhaps, I need to do some conscientious positive weeding in my own life of the things that I unconsciously do which are not that helpful to anyone else, including myself.
It is far too easy to pontificate. It is so easy to take up oxygen, to dominate conversations. But, when I think about the ways in which Person B adds oxygen and value, it makes me more determined to get my act together. I ain't getting any younger. (And, to be snarky, neither are you!) So we struggle together. Person B would say that's good, that's growth. Person A would say that everything is fine that they do. I pray that I grow up.
TODAY's GRATITUDE: For the Person B's who are patient with me and always bring oxygen into the room.