Although I had never met him nor seen him in person, I was profoundly affected by the tragic death of Robin Williams. His life had been such a guaranteed source of joy for me over many decades. When I was really down, I would replay his interview on Inside the Actor's Studio with James Lipton, arguably one of the most brilliant exercises of joy in any media. I played it again early this morning.
It is a fact, not an opinion, that depression is real. It is also a fact that many people, suffering from depression, may at times have thoughts of suicide. Thank goodness there are many ways today to help people suffering from depression or thoughts of suicide, i.e., medication, counseling, meditation, and a myriad of other treatments. These treatments are good, but may not be a total cure. Despite the many tools available, there are people who just suffer in silence - and sometimes this is because people around them may not be doing things that can, in fact, help them. The scary thing is that some people are so great great at cloaking their feelings of depression and even thoughts of suicide that no one has a clear idea what is going on inside of them.
In the course of ministry, I've worked with families who had a loved one feel that their life could not go on. Sometimes, good and caring people had no idea what a loved one or friend was suffering until after their death. People can get overwhelmed with their circumstances and do things that might have been avoided.
We may all know people who felt like Robin Williams. I do. I can also identify with feelings that he might have been having. I know that I'm far from alone in this regard. It is such an awful thing to feel that there is no hope and yet our faith tells us that hope is real, hope is possible, and that God does not abandon us. But if you're profoundly depressed, those sentiments have a tough time of reaching us. So what can we do?
Of the many things needed to treat depression and feelings of suicide, one is obviously understanding. I came across an article online in the National Catholic Reporter (ncronline.org) from a person who wrote simply, but compellingly, on what she wishes people knew about depression. This might be helpful to you today or something to think about in the future.
Don't forget to pray for people who are depressed and those who have lost hope. May God open their hearts to peace and healing. May they learn to appreciate and to connect with the God who will never abandon them.
What I Wish People Knew About Depression - by Therese Bouchard
I wish people knew that the soul of someone who dies of suicide is as perfect as the moment God created it, that depression is an involuntary shadow that hides their true identity.
I wish people would offer those who struggle with depression the same compassion they offer to friends with rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, breast cancer or any other socially acceptable illness, that they would question those discriminations and judgments reserved for disorders that fall under the umbrella of "mental illness."
I wish people knew that a depressed person is capable of fake laughing for two hours through a dinner only to go home and Google "easiest ways to get cancer"; that most depressed persons deserve Academy Awards for outstanding acting; and that it can be practically impossible to pick up on the desperation and sadness in a person who wants so badly to die, because chances are she is the one cracking jokes in a crowd.
I wish people knew that the worst part about depression is the sheer loneliness, the inability to express the anguish that rages within, and that the smiley-face culture we live in worsens that loneliness because depressed persons are so scared to tell the truth.
I wish people knew that the hardest thing some persons will ever do in this lifetime is to stay alive, that just because staying alive comes easily to some, it doesn't mean arriving at a natural death is any less of a triumph for those who have to work so very hard to keep breathing.
I wish people knew that taking one's life can feel like sneezing to a severely depressed person, that it can be a mere reaction to the body's overwhelming message, that after fighting a sneeze for years and years, some people simply can't not sneeze anymore, that they should not be condemned or demonized for sneezing.
I wish people knew that the best thing you can do for a person who suffers from depression is to believe her.
I wish people knew you could be grateful and depressed at the same time, that gratitude can coexist with a mood disorder.
I wish people knew that depression is complex, that it is a physiological condition with psychological and spiritual components, and therefore can't be forced into any neat and tidy box, that healing needs to come from lots of kinds of sources and that every person's recovery is different.
I wish people knew that depressed brains looked different on high-resolution X-rays; that when experts scanned the brains of depressed people, they discovered that the front lobes of the brain displayed lower activity levels than those in non-depressed patients; that there are breakdowns in normal patterns of emotional processing; that depression can be associated with the loss of volume in parts of the brain and can inhibit the birth of new brain cells, which is why renowned psychiatrist Peter Kramer believes it is the "most devastating disease known to mankind."
I wish people knew that millions of people don't respond to medications, and that while brain stimulation technologies offer hope for treatment-resistant depression, these persons are dealing with a different kind of beast altogether and should never be blamed for their chronic illness.
I wish people knew how essential diet was to treating depression, but that you can eliminate gluten, dairy, caffeine, alcohol and sugar from your diet -- you can exist on green smoothies -- and still be depressed; that fish oil, vitamin B12, and a good probiotic could very well improve your mood, but they aren't magical elements.
I wish people knew that the endorphins from exercise are as close as a depressive will get to an anesthesia for pain, but that it's possible to swim 5,000 yards a day or run 7 miles a day and still be suicidal, that a sad swimmer can fill up her goggles with tears.
I wish people knew that depression wasn't something that can be cured by participating in a 21-day meditation series with Eckhart Tolle or a year of yoga classes, and that although mindfulness efforts can certainly help, it's possible to have consistent, chronic death thoughts even after years of developing a meditation practice.
I wish people knew that sometimes depression is triggered by something and sometimes it's not, that sometimes one small thing is needed to pull a person out of darkness, and sometimes everything is unable to, that sometimes the only thing you can do is to wait for symptoms to subside.
I wish people knew that depression comes and it goes, and in its ebb and flow are found pockets of peace that can sustain a person for the journey.
I wish people knew, more than anything else, that there is hope.
Beyond every action imaginable, there is hope.
In reaching beyond the self without fear to others who understand.
In sharing the familiar yet unique story of one's illness with someone who knows.
In finding purpose and meaning.
In gently turning one's pain to love and service.
(She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression and Anxiety, and blogs at everydayhealth.com, where this column first appeared in a different form.)
If you want to learn more about depression, here is a great resource: http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-report/major-depression-resource-center.aspx.
