Jim Mahoney's Blog - Sacred to Etc.

Why Do This? - and Welcome!

(You can find the necessary disclaimers in the Profile section of the blog.)

Over time, the nature of this blog will inevitably evolve. I'm fully retired now which means that my interests have evolved also. I have absolutely no desire to be a culture warrior. I do have a desire to help people grow in their faith and journey with Jesus along the paths, often laden with rocks, of their lives. If I find things that might be interesting for you to read from other sources, I'll include them.

My plan is to make a post to this blog at least once a week, but often more. 

I have pretty much written these posts, hundreds of them, and just left them alone to grow like wild weeds available for anyone to pick, pick up, or do other things to it.  That no longer works for me.  So I will now keep on the blog posts from the past several weeks. Each post was written at a particular point in time - and often is not meant to be a permanent place in history. We are at a particular point in time where there is much division, seemingly intractable, among and between groups.  Personally, I'm not a culture warrior. If you want a culture warrior, there are plenty of places to find them.

I am grateful to the surprisingly large number of people who have found my blog helpful to them, more than I ever expected. I write this for them and hope to continue doing so. The number of times that someone has taken great issue with something I wrote are few. But like most people, I remember the attacks more than the accolades. Something that I always have to work on.

Often, I am unconsciously writing to myself - and if someone happens to want to read it, that is good. When I preach, I find that I am somehow preaching first to myself - to listen to the message of Jesus and figure it out so the Good News of Jesus can be shared.

In glancing at what I have written over the years, I am bemused at how much more personal and forthcoming I have been in the blog than in most other areas of my life. Go figure. I'm an introvert!

God bless. 

 

 

Being Nasty - Do they have a vaccine for this? - January 14, 2022

Lately, I have been running into a higher than usual number of nasty people. I have also been hearing from people in various walks of life about the nasty people they have been encountering lately. One of the kindest people I know is a merchant in local retail establishment. I was in the store when this person walked in. It was easy to tell that this was not going to be pleasant. Well, the nasty person stated right off blaming the merchant for some thing that he did not cause. Went on and an - and finally left in a huff.  I felt bad for my friend because I saw how upset he was.

I then shared with him a spiritual insight, "God will get him!"  He asked, "are you sure?" I said, "positive." He laughed. Then he shared that he was coming across a growing number of nasty people. He asked if I had seen this in my life. I sadly told him that, over the past five years or so, I had seen the percentage of people being nasty to each climb climb and climb.I observed that when people see "public" people just trash each other, with no accountability, things get worse. In families, when people see each other trash each other, it can have deep roots and cause emotional problems in later life. It gets complicated. I share with him the observation that a psychologist friend had shared with me, "all over-reaction is historical." There is a cause for being mistreating each other. It does not come out of nowhere.

I shared this insight with a person I work with who was known for erupting at people. He said, "I disagree with that psychologist. He does not know what he is talking about. (I have news for him/ He does know what he is talking about - and you are Exhibit )  My respect for this individual plummeted over the years. Are there no consequences for trashing other people? It is so sad - and causes preventable harm. These people need help.

At times, I deal with nasty people. Thankfully, not a large number. but enough to bother me. I come across large numbers of people in a variety of settings. I specifically pray for a lot of these people because I fear that they are causing harm. I ask God to help them because I do not have the opportunity or the clinical skills at times to make a wise intervention. It does bother me.

Actions have consequences. Screaming at family members, colleagues, even strangers has consequences. We do bear responsibility for how we treat other people. It is that simple.

I'll come back to this topic from time to time. There are so many things to be shared about this. I raise this topic today because I just want to plant a seed - shouting and screaming can have deep roots in another person's psyche. If you think that this is not true, then you may not be thinking. If you're worried about your screaming at people in your home or in other places. it might be time to think about getting some help. We can all use help. We can all be in denial. Is this you? If so, think about it. Is this the way that God wanted your family life to be? Your work live to be? It does not have to be this way. Please don't think that you are not hurting anyone!

 

 

From Snow Days to Gratitude - January 7. 2022

Remember times like these?

Last night, I looked out the window and saw the snow coming down. I immediately recalled the magnificent great work avoidance project known as "snow days." It was a simpler world then for most people. I loved snow days.  Whenever there was a judgment call aout having a snow day, I always opted for the snow days. I remembered having a big smile on my face when I was at my office in Clifton. The location of that office meant that I could go skiing frequently up at Great Gorge, as it was then called. Great Gorge was all lit. In under an hour, I could leave my office in Clifton and actually be on the ski lifts heading up the mountain. It was a freeing time, a fun time.

The nice thing about skiing is that you were forced to concentrate totally on the skiing or else you would crash into something. I remember having my worst ski accident. Ripped two ligaments apart in my knee, the MCL and PCL, I believe. Required more therapy than I ever wanted. Avoided having surgery. Grew to grimace at rehab, but the rehab folks were first rate. Just reminders that we were not meant to fly, sigh. My present state of conditioning is adequate. I have given up hopes of a professional career in ice skating or skiing. Just getting around without canes or crutches is fine with me for as long as possible.

Part of this is a function of zip code, but my various wears and tears over the years were helped by some wonderful doctors. I always feel blessed to live in an area where there is access to such wonderful doctors - who are often great human beings as well. 

The snow day today caused me to do a lot of reflecting on things that happened to me during winters over the years. The different parts of the world where I skiied, the extraordinary scenery, and just the feeling of peace which ski areas always brought to me. Gratitude is really on my mind today.

I had a little scare this week. I have been thinking about the news reports on how quickly the latest variants are spreading among the population. Since I do have the medical condition of Worried Well, I wondered if I had escaped being affected by this latest plague. I was also thinking about how to be as certain as possible that I would not give COVID to anyone. I dug out the 2 home testing kits for COVID that I had obtained six weeks ago (when they were still easily available on-line.  Read the instructions. Did the test. I looked at the results and uttered an unsavory word. Positive for COVID. Used the second kit and obtained the same results. Used same unsavory word. Spoke with my doctor and asked him what to do. He told me what over-the-counter medications I should take. He also suggested self-quarantining for five days which I began immediately. When I hung up, no more unsavory words, but time to pray.

 

Re-scheduled a few things that I had to do this week. My focus at various times this week was gratitude. I was asymptomatic. No symptoms. No discomfort. No pain. Just my customary worrying. Knowing about the millions of people who have had COVID and suffered or are still suffering, I just prayed with gratitude many times this week. How blessed I am.

When my quarantine ends in a couple of hours, I'm going to go skiing, rappeling, and will climb up the buildings of my apartment complex. Perhaps not. But whatever I do, it will be done with gratitude.

 

 

  

New Year's Resolution - Yes or No? - December 31, 2021 - (actually January 2, 2022)

Every year, I make New Year’s Resolutions. By the 2nd week in January, I have stopped keeping them. By the 1st of February, I have forgotten what my resolutions were. I did these things while still being easily able to sleep at night. 

If I'm going to do something spiritual for Lent, this would seem to work in place of a Lenten resolution = yes? When the rational side of my brain takes over (not a frequent occurrence!), I can usually come up with reasonably good solutions to life's problems. Not always, but more often than not. There are those times when I come up with  burst of insight, throw caution to the wind, and really figure out something difficult.  New Year's resolutions do not have the spiritual baggage of Lenten resolutions - at least they seem to be carefree. Is this possibly why I never seem to complete them? Possibly.

On this topic, as well as many parts of my life, sometimes I do overthink things. Sometimes, I can make things much harder than they need to be. Sometimes, I can just plow through things and get them done. I am usually a jumble of different ways to accomplish different thingsl

The more I think (which means the more I type) I am starting to wonder whether my approach on New Year's resolution is all wrong. I am a devotee of planning devices. I may be the best customer that Franklin Covey ever had! But sometimes, I can overdo it. In retirement, I am trying to simplify my life. I am trying to ruthlessly down side. To do this, I am slowly going through every book, every piece of paper, every article of clothing, every little thing in my little apartment that I have accumulated for more years than I care to count - and trying to figure what makes me happy, what makes me wise, what makes me less tense - and what brings me peace. 

As I ruminate (isn't that a pompous word!!!), I'm starting to feel more comfortable with drastically simplifying my approach to resolutions. I have decided that I need resolutions. I need to keep these as sign posts for my life. But I do not need to obsess over them. I can just do them - and maybe (I hate this phrase) I need to go with the flow.

I have been thinking about the approach that I used when I went on Outward Bound when I was in my early 30's. I had heard a lot about Outward Bound. I had friends who went on it and really liked it.So I did a cursory amount of reading and signed up for the Outward Bound Hurricane Island school up in Maine. It was one of the most transforming events in my life. I was woefully, ridiculously unprepared - but somehow survived it. I was hoping that a relative or friend would be in some type of difficulty and I would have to leave. And it did happen. I went on the survival course, was on a pulling boat with a group of adults of varying ages.

Why am I boring you with this information from many decades ago? Simple, I want so share why I packed a small washcloth on this three week trip. The packing instructions said to bring either a small washcloth or a bath towel. I thoughtfully reasoned that this would mean that towels and other things would be provided. Actually, no. All I had with me was one small washcloth for the 3 weeks. I had gone through the doctoral research on OUtward Bound Effective training, the benefits of the entire approach. Nothing in my research indicated that I would be on a three week trip in the wilderness with only a small washcloth. I also brought a rechargeable razor with me. The instructor said that this was the first one he had seen on their courses. I felt special.

The ocean was about 50 degrees. At night, the mosquitoes were so loud that their noise kept people up. Fierce rains for a couple of days. I did the rock climbing, the rope courses, the rappelling, and every blasted thing they did. I complained throughout every exercise - sometimes just to myself, never to an instructor or another participant. I learned my lesson quickly. I had rappelled halfway down a cliff - and now had to climb up the cliff using the rock climbing techniques they taught us. I had reached a point on the cliff where I did not feel I could climb any higher back up the cliff. I shouted up to the instructor, "I can't climb any further. Would you throw me another rope so I can get up to the top. He shouted down that he felt sorry for me, but lunch was going to be served in 45 minutes and they had no rope to give me. I silently prayed the prayer of the really ticked off. In 30 minutes, I finally mastered going up the cliff = and reached the top just in time to join the other for lunch. I chose now to speak to the instructor for the rest of the day. But sulking really accomplishes very little on Outward Bound. I kept at it. In my life, whenever I come across a problem or challenge that seems just too daunting, I go back to that 3 week course on Hurricane Island - and I realize that there is precious little that I cannot achieve if I focus. This has been a major assist to me in so many areas of my life.

If I could succeed at Outward, then I could succeed at most things in life that I had as challenges. Some things I genuinely failed it, but not for lack of trying. But those are few. They are frustrating - and I have not given up.

My focus for this post in terms of resolutions is now quite simple. I cannot believe that I would let the task of establishing a resolution for the New Year rattle me. Frustrate me a little, perhaps. But really rattle me. Nope. That is ridiculous. I now have a resolution in mind. It is admittedly easier than rappelling or swimming 100 yards off the pulling boat in 50 degree water. Piece of cake. I've been on Outward Bound. I'm an Eagle Scout as well!End of story.

To this day, I really regret not having a camera for those three weeks. They were not allowed. Sigh. So - who would believe I actually did this? I do - and sometimes, that is enough.

I was there. On my oath as an Eagle Scout!

A private question for me:  If recalling the Outward Bound experience has been so positive for me, why does it seldom occur to me to actually do this? Could it be that I'm human? Sigh.

 

Santa or Jesus? Who do you prefer?

Liturgists are people who are scholars and students of liturgy, of the Church's worship. Liturgists sometimes feel that people in parishes, particularly pastors, trample on the finer points that liturgists believe are important. This is why a popular (but probably insensitive) joke raises the question: what is the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist? You can negotiate with terrorists. It is insensitive, but it makes an often valid point. I selected the above graphic of Santa kneeling by the tree as a clear description of the issues. Those who are trying to be pastoral get frustrated when the liturgist does not appreciate everything that has to be done to bring people into Church, to bring them closer to God. At the same time, pastoral types often just push aside any valid arguments which may never address the reality. Franklyi, the above graphic does little to address the discussion.

What's the point? The liturgist would maintain that you should not mention Christmas until you get real close to the end of Advent. The liturgist just does not look churches decorating early for Christmas. There are good and valid points on both sides - and there clearly are sides. As a pastor for decades, I understood the liturgical principles, but sometimes I may not have always agreed with the use made of those principles. I want to see people drawn into Church. Some day, I will expand on these ideas in a longer article, but today is not the time. What is the time is what to do about Christmas as our world is approaching a galloping pandemic. I don't know about you, but I find this scary, more so each day.

I see this scientific fact of escalating pandemic just shattering any sense of peace of mind that people hope to have as they approach Christmas. Some researchers point out that the new variants may not be as devastating to people as former variants. I just don't know. I go through the scientific research. I listen to conflicting viewpoints of sane and brilliant people - and I still don't know.

I do know this. Many people are scared. While every day is a time to cling to God - it seems like every day is a time to cling and hold on more closely to God - and each other. If the variant is as bad as some are predicting, we need to stay close to God and each other. If it is not as bad, stayling close to God and each other is never a bad thing.

I spend a decent amount of time in prayer and meditation every single day. I'm going to increase this. I'm going to pray harder and for more people each day. We do need to get back to the core of our faith - God = Jesus - Mary - and the Church. There are some groups that are hellbent on just making political points about the Church. They should know better. They should be ashamed of themselves for doing nothing to help people. That is why we are here. I know that is why I'm here. Join me if you agree. I suspect that many do. We are here to help each other - not to push each other away from the Church and each other.

This will be an interesting time between now and Christmas. May we all hold on to the plaintive cry trying to take care of Linus:

 

 

Next Post will be up tomorrow - sorry about that! - Dec. 19, 2021

I have yet to address one Christmas card. Too many things have intruded. Another exercise in humility - getting tired of these lessons??

So behind in so many things. I guess that is good - in retirement, I have never had to sit idle. But I am frustrated that I have not begun addressing my constantly growing list of projects for my retirement. Oh, well. There are certainly worse problems in the world.

It is never too late to be good - never too late to be sorry - but someday, it maybe too late. So listen to Santa

 

 

War on Christmas - give me a break!- December 10, 2012

 

I have hesitated to get into ridiculous exchanges on the internet. I do believe that there are some people on the internet who should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery. (Ok, you can also make a valid argument that I should hnot be allowed to operate heavy machinery.) Over the past few years, the internet has been subjected to some publicity seeking nuts who have announced that there is a war against Christmas. We, the devout faithful, must mobilize against this war. Give me a break. There is no war on Christmas - worthy of its name. Some of the bloviators on the web have repeated the "NEWS" of this war over and over again. 

As someone with a vested interest in religion and a deep love of Christmas, I would simply make several thoughtful arguments:

People who say there is some type of organized war against Christmas are essentially idiots. Don't they have the intelligence to notice that there are just a smidgen of things on the internet that are ridiculous and do not deserve the time of day. Why  be taken in by idiots? Are you an idiot? No? Good for you. I hope that I'm not either.

Have I mentioned that people who write such things are idiots? If not, let me repeat myself. They are idiots.  Sensitive point, it is possible that I am insulting idiots. Sorry,  but I cannot think of a better word. Idiots. I have this fleeting thought that I might be a little harsh in this post. Well, actually, I do have a problem with people who abuse folks who might now knot things with these lies about Christmas. They should be ashamed of themselves.

A theological point:  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph do not need our help in the fake war against Christmas. The Son of God can take care of himself. The blessed Mother can take care of herself. Joseph, the foster father of Jesus can take care of himself as well.  It is nice that some people feel the Holy Family needs some protection. Well, the sincere people are obviously very good people. Just a word of reassurance to them: Christmas is fine. Anyone who declares war on Christmas need to go stand in the corner for being an idiot. 

I'm now going to summon a warrior angel to take care of those who declare war on Christmas.  Would you mess around with this angel? I don't think so. Nor would I.

Now for some real religion instead of bombast, here is a prayer for protection to pray to Saint Michael:

 

 

 

 

We're in Advent now - do you care? We should! - December 3, 2021

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

We're almost into the 2nd week of Advent. The 2nd of the 4 candles will be lit this weekend in the Advent wreath. For most people, what they observe at this time of year is not so much Advent, but rather getting ready for Christmas. Yet, we are supposed to deal with Advent - what can be said?

Advent essentially is a time of preparation - the first part is to focus on our preparation for the Kingdom of God. The seoncd part is to focus on our preparation for Christmas. Often, there are themes assigned to each week:  Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love.  Remember these things - and you will know more than most Catholics!

Stores seem to have mastered how to deal with the four weeks before Christmas. In fact, they mastered this for two months at least. Christmas decorations are up. Christmas cards and wrapping paper is for sale. People are working on their cards, candy, cookies, invitations, and every possible thing that can be done to make this season special - even if we're not being liturgical.

In the parish, I always found it so hard to focus on Advent - for the simple reason that preparing properly for Christmas is a stressful conitnuous activity. Anyone in Church ministry who is not exhasted and drained by the time Christmas is over has simply not had much to do. I've been retired the last couple of Christmas celebrations = so I was not exhausted like in past years. But did have a couple of masses each Christmas - which was very welcome. 

As of this writing, I have not written a card, have not even bought cards to write and send. I don't have a list of things that I want to give people. And so many other things that I have not done. As I look about the apartment where I live, I just grimace in a kind-hearted way. Not one sign of Christmas on the inside or the outside. It looks like an atheist lives at my address.  Sigh. Must do something, but don't yet know what.

Oops, I just looked inside an LL Bean carton - opened it. Yeah - I now have my Christmas decoration? A kind soul sent me a Yule log. Now I have to find a place to put it - which I will do later tonight. This now motivates me to go into the garage tomorrow and take down the storage container with Christmas stuff - there is some Christmas hope left yet.

Could this be the spirit of Advent - now morphing into Christmas?  Why not? I like it.

I am going to try to prepare in a simple way for Christmas - especially to prepare in gratitude for all the people who have been so good to me. I spend at least an hour a day in prayer for lots of people. I will pray harder for greast family and friends.  We live in a hurting world - that needs prayers and patience and joy. I will do my part.

Happy Advent. Merry Christmas.

 

 

 

My favorite Holiday? - November 26, 2021

 

Two days down - two days to go - and Thanksgiving weekend is finished. To this point, I had a rather wonderful two days. I'm not looking for trouble, but if the Thanksgiving week ended right now, I would be happy.  It has always been my favorite holiday. Much more than Christmas or Easter. Now before you reach for your pitchforks to burn me at the stake for such an obvious religious heresy and sign of atheistic indifference - first, get a life - and ask yourself why I might not like Christmas or Easter. It has everything to do with the practical life of a busy parish priest. Any priest worth his salt is going to be exhausted after Christmas or Easter. The crowds are large. The pace is brutal. So many things can go on. It is anything other than relaxed - and if there is always one individual (usually difference ones over the years) - who present problems and discomfort, and goodness knows what else.

My favorite holiday (in a negative way) was the Christmas celebration during one of the Christmas Eve Masses when a guy stormed out of church and came out to where I was standing in the atrium.  Then he said the following to me in a tone that was less than joyful and also less than soft, "I come once a year to Mass and I can't even get a seat." He had absolutely no idea how crazy he sounded. I said softly to him, "Merry Christmas" and walked away from him. Never saw him again. Wherever he is, I hope he is happy.

In the past several two weeks, I've had a few things happen that were profoundly happy. I'm not sharing them with you because I'm an only child and not good at sharing! But suffice to say that these things brought a huge smile to me - and the events bringing smiles continued through today. If more events occur on Saturday and Sunday, I won't object.

I'm praying with lots of gratitude today. I'm always praying that I do not forget to express my gratitude to God - which sometimes I do, to my dismay. I pray every single day for each of you - and once in a while I forget to pray for me - which is part of gratitude so I have to get better at it. But, right now, for this moment, I'm grateful. I'm happy. I'm mellow. 

I'll take it.

(personal note: One thing that causes me to lose my state of being mellow is when someone comes up to me or contacts me and just shares how upset they are at so and so in the church who has said something or done something or not said something or not done something os is not responding to an issue the way that they feel it should be done. If someone unloads on me about some other person in the Church, I no longer will feel responsible to answer them.  As of this moment in time, I hereby decide that I am no longer answering or even commenting on such topics. The Church is composed of 1,200,000,000 members. None of us can be responsible for what 1.2 billion people in the church are capable of doing. This might be self-evident, but my inadequate approach to such things has given me far more stress than you might imagine. So - I ain't going to play the person's game. I am responsible for myself. If you have a problem with someone else, then go seek out that person in the group of 1,200,000,000 who comprise the Church. I am just not going to let people get me down who brings up things about other people - that I have nothing to do with. I cannot tell you the number of people who come up to me and just unload about others and question me - i.e., how can the Church allow this, how can this happen, and so many other things. And then they walk away - and just leave me with this new fresh delivery of stress in my life.  

Now this might seem petulant, but I prefer to call it healthy. The more than I type these words, the better I feel. I am retired. I have now ended allowing other people the ability to make me tense. I wish I had thought of this decades ago. I never felt that I had the right to make other people feel tense. It does not have to be that way. This is not a perfect solution to a problem that is other quite complicated. But it is a practical way get my life on a smoother path. I feel good about it. My doctors tell me that I have to address stress in my life. Well, here is one way that I'm trying to be healthy. I had unrelenting stress for 48 years. Enough!)

 

  

Too tired - Time to Reflect on Something Nurturing - November 19, 2012

During this past week, in addition to some meetings at the parish, I watched a decent (indecent?) amount of television. I was riveted by the coverage of the two ongoing trials. Frankly, I had some conflicting emotions. But this is our system of justice. I was really gripped by the subjects that came up during the trials. Race, violence, vigilante justice, self-defense, and so many other things. It was exhausting to end the day still watching the coverage of the trials.

While watching the trials, I was trying to come up with a focus for this week's post. I finally came up with something that I have been thinking about - and will be the first to admit it is not the most spiritual choice or even the most interesting choice i could come up with. I'm not going to act on this quest, but first I had to go through a short process to figure out what would be best for me. I'm only sharing this with you because I have now definitively unequivocally unalterably have come to a conclusion which would be the answer to this question: Should I get a pet? 

NO. no. no. I need to convince myself that this is the right answer. Now back to a regular size font!

I put my best analytical skills on this question. After an entire half hour of proper reflection and research, I came up with the realistic intelligent answer: I don't need a pet. It is that simple. If I want to see a golden retriever running around or doing tricks, this is why God made You Tube videos of golden retrievers. You do not have to take You Tube out, to the vet, you don't have to feed You Tube. There is no compelling reason why I should get a pet. I am at peace with this life-protecting decision. I truly do not need a pet. The "cons" far outweigh the "pros."

In this process, I spent a good half hour in seeking out the reasons to get a pet or not get a pet.  I checked out every breed of dog that was smaller than a golden retriever. Amazing that a Great Dane was highly recommended for a pet - but the author did note that this breed was a bit large - and they slobbered. Realizing I did not want a slobbering dog removed a number of breeds from my life. I also did not want dog that did a lot of barking - that is not considerate of my neighbors. I also did not want a dog that shed a lot of hair. So strike those breeds off.

I then moved dogs off my life and considered cats. Cats certainly did not bark. They often shed. They are delightfully annoyingly independent. I feel that a cat would not carry on a coherent conversation with me. So strike out cats.

I then considered getting a fish. Sadly, I thought of the time in my life when I was convinced that I want to have a few fish.I had ten fish. Gradually, over the course of a few weeks, each fish chose to go home to God - I found them, one by one, floating on the top of the water. Strike out that breed. I have too many problems with abandonment.

Time to look at birds. My conclusions about birds is that they are noisy filthy feathered creatures, especially parrots. Strike out birds.

My choices were rapidly narrowing. I found a site on the web that mentioned some types of small pets: snakes, bugs, reptiles, ferrets, and other frightening questions.

Well, I get it my best shot. I considered the possibility - looked at my own patterns of life - and finally came up with a decision that gave me some peace. NO PETS.

If I come across someone walking a golden retriever, and, if given permission, I will happily pet the golden. I will always remember my two goldens, Marsi and Deedee. They brought me so much happiness. They were truly angels with four paws.

Are You Arrogant? I hope not! I hope I'm not! - Revised edition of November 12, 2021 post - November 13, 2021

(note from Jim: I have been a little unsettled over the draft of the post I wrote in yesterday's blog. Nothing that I wrote was untrue. Nothing was something where I did not say what I thought. Yet I was still unsettled as of late this afternoon. So I practiced my meditation again, considered each word that I wrote, changed some phrases, added some nuances, and, in several cases, made what I had written even stronger. It is a great feature to use the delete button and make ample use of editorial rewrites.)

Over the years, I have sprinkled in some thoughts about arrogance into this blog. While it may not make the history books, I do consider arrogance to be one of the causes of bad things happening in the religious world, the political world, and every other kind of world that there is. When there have been bad problems in the Church, you can hear me muttering (if you can read my mind) - the word Arrogant - over and over. I might under my breath simply also mutter an arrogant unsavory word about a subject of my ire. The church of my ancestor's origins was a Church often following the clerical practice of arrogance. The Church in the US  seems at times to make many of the same mistakes made in the Irish church, but hopefully we are getting better.

This also happens in priests from other countries than Ireland and the US. Lately, I have heard more cases about younger priests lacking the smallest smidgen of pastoral sensitivity. They are right - and the people must listen to them. Where is the care of souls? Where is the concern that Jesus showed to the wayward sheep who had wandered. I see the seeds of this in priests who may come from countries in addition to Ireland and the United States. These younger priests generally believe that the people in the parish are there to listen to them, to serve them - and have no possible understanding that their arrogance drives people away. It is an ugly thing. 

I believe that, as priests, we are given a special responsibility to take care of our people - to treat them with care - and to look at them like Jesus looked at sinners - with compassion, with forgiveness, and with love. If a priest does not seem to care about such attitudes, he is doing harm and not doing good - what, may I ask, is he doing in the priesthood?

When some priests, (hopefully not a large number) arrive in a parish, they like to change things. Some are eager to change their parish and make it reflect the customs of their parish of origin.  I am really aghast at their ignorance of a very simple piece of data: The only new person in the parish may very well be the new priest. Everyone else is the same. Arrogance seems to be a fallback posithat many of these priests have. The new priest has not been part of the development of traditions, relationships, and memories. A priest who arrives in a parish, regardless or age or country of origin, and starts to change things is simply not a pastoral associate, but a pastoral menace. I heard of a parish where several staff members had this mantra: we keep nothing old - everything must be new. Slowly, the parish began to crumble. No surprise. What came across to the people was not excitement that things were "happening" - no, what people saw was arrogance. Great effective ministry is a continuous stream of new things, old things - and gradually the parish begins to grow. A parish is the composite of relationships - past and present. When you ignore the customs and traditions, you are ignoring the very heart of the parish. The ancient principle, Make haste slowly, was in these priests' training, but they forgot.

 

 

I could go on and on because I can just see the mental soapbox being wheeled out for me to stand on - a bad sign. But it is an even worse sign to ignore the past and the traditions and just make everything different. When new priests arrive, whether as pastors or parochial vicars, they are told not to change anything for the first year - except for reasons of law or safety. The ones that follow this caution care about their people. The ones who do not follow this caution care about themselves. Strong words? Harsh words? Parish ministry is both art and science. Parishes flourish when their parish priests care enough about their people to make haste slowly, to respect the past, and bring people gingerly into the future. It is not that hard to do.

Remember this - violating this caution of taking time to change things and to assess things together with your people - comes across to the people simply as arrogance. Not a good thing.

I could go on and on - but I do not want to have my blood pressure monitor explode if I continue on this subject. Remember the tortoise and the hare. We have far too many priests who think that there are the hares, when in reality, they will end up losing the race. 

This is the principle to follow: slow is fast - fast is slow. It really works. Here is a Jim principle: if you think you know everything, you are wildly mistaken. Listen to your people. They have to listen to us - so we must return the favor!

To make this topic even more pertinent, - these "throw caution to the winds" approaches also happen in politics and many other areas of life. The Church is not the only sinner in this regard.

God love them all.

There are compelling reasons why Navy Seals follow these principles. They work.

Interesting - I removed far less from my first draft than I would have imagined. So, that is good, I guess.

In no way am I against using traditions from various ethnic groups. This can be a welcome variety into parish life. I was pleasantly surprised at my former parish how much people enjoyed some of the traditions from other groups, i.e., Oplakti wafers - and I know that they would have welcomed parish events which highlighted food from many different groups.  I'm open to every type of cultural addition - but please do not ask me to eat a Codfish taco. 

We're all in this together. We have so much to learn form each other. Arrogance helps no one's learning. 

If you observe a priest who is arrogant, just try to forgive him, even try to help him. As we all know, the problem is when the priest will not listen to anyone. 

I'll touch on this topic a few more times over this year. Our people deserve sensitive pastoral care. Can a priest read the words of Jesus about the lost sheep - and not think that this applies to his parish as well?

This is all I have to propose tonight. Going to sleep early. Sigh. 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

 

 

 

Even I need a break from political news! - November 5, 2021

On the one hand, I enjoyed the chance this past week to watch many of the election returns during these past few days. But on the other hand, I come to Friday of this week just exhausted. It took a couple of days to figure out what had happened politically this week. It seemed quite hard to understand that New Jersey, usually blue state, might be turning a little red. Governor Murphy was supposed to win easily according to early polls. That did not happen. He squeaked through, however there may be recounts. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

As a faithful student of politics in the Garden State, I was stunned by the fact that Senator Sweeney, the leader of the NJ State Senate, was defeated by a person who spent less than $200 to win this particular political prize. This story should have received much more attention in the press. Once again, they did not consult me. I think this is really big news. (OOPS: Just read today's New York Times - They had an article about Senator Sweeney on page one, above the fold. Interesting that such a major story was not given more prominent attention earlier than three days after the election.)

As a faithful observer of the rest of the nation, I was intrigued by the fact that, after tough election, the incoming governor and the outgoing governor of Virginia appeared together and exchanged best wishes for the future. It shows that some people still do have class in politics. We have given too much attention to those who don't. Both of these politicians showed class and maturity. You could use these as examples for good civics lessons. Thomas Jefferson had it right:

 

 

A governor, a president, heck, even a priest or a pastor, is not a king of emperor. He is a servant, a public servant.

During my prayers today, I did pray hard for political leaders and church leaders. So much is being nastily politicized. This is a disgrace. Why do we even pretend that this is right.

I was fortunate to have time today to watch the funeral of General Colin Powell. How blessed we were to have this good man involved in our government. Very few negative voices have been raised in the last week denigrating Colin Powell. How refreshing.

Lots of topics and themes are circulating, or clanging, in my mind.  Stated to focus on next week's post. I hope that it will be helpful. Already research that has been helped to me - so hope it will be helpful to you.

 

 

 

Some Personal Priorities Starting to Emerge - thank goodness - October 29, 2012

The simple command of Jesus to love your neighbor as yourself is one of the most deceptively simple thing in the Scriptures. I think that many people have been troubled by this command. It seems reasonable to love God - and to love our neighbor. But then, the third part of the phrase: love yourself - well, easier said than done. This connects to what a psychiatrist mentioned to me decades ago. "For some people, to ask them to love their neighbor as they love themselves - is an awful thing to do to their neighbor."

It seems that, somehow, in the paths of many people's lives, they were taught/told that they should not love themselves. That would be selfish. That would be self-centered. And the most destructive feeling of all, you're not really worth it. An awful lot of people have a very low self image - that is really deep-seated. This shows up in all sorts of ways - relationships, ways we treat others, and a veritable plethora of other situations (I always try to use the phrase "veritable plethora" at least once a year. I can now cross that off my to-do list!)

Continually doubting oneself, making fun of oneself, just not accepting that a person might have value - all these and many more become part of the backpack of stuff carried by those who do not have a strong sense of self. I always remember the poster in the 1960's which was meant to raise people's self-image.  It featured a kid from an economically poor neighborhood who just made one statement, "I must be good because don't make junk!")

Gradually trying to change your self-image can be a really tough challenge. It can happen to people who compensate for their low self-image by being people-pleasers - always afraid to say no. It is so hard to switch when you have had to listen for decades to those claiming that you were never good enough - or even just good. (small confession: I've always struggled with a poor self-image, never felt that I had my act together.

This became a clear problem as I have gotten more into my retirement. It was very difficult  - and still is -figuring out a balance in my retirement. What requests do I say Yes to = what do I say No to? I have seen over time that I have to have some consistent guidelines - what do I say Yes to - what do I say No to? Do I have an obligation to do things that I would have agreed to do before I was retired?  I slowly have become a little more comfortable in saying No - not because I want to - but because I have to. (It was a very ego-deflating thing in some situations where I really struggled and finally said No - then i discovered that the people to whom I said No were more than able to get on with their lives and through a particular situation. These little snippets of self-knowledge do pop out more during retirement - a good thing.

I'm being self-aware when I just do not accept commitments that involve a lot of driving, especially at night. I have noticed that few couples who are kind enough to want me to witness their vows actually have as the first question in their planning for their wedding: Will Jim be too wiped out to deal with a wedding more than a 20 minute drive from his apartment? I might be able to do some wedding if someone else drives - but I have found that I am still wiped out in terms of energy, stress, etc. regardless of whether i drove or was driving. Saying NO has become part of self-care that I never used to be concerned about. SIgh.

All of this verbal meandering is about issues that I never paid any attention to over the decades. But, if I want to last a decent number of years, I have to take care of myself. Self-care is how I respond to Jesus' command to love God, neighbor, and self. I spent a lifetime not doing one of those three things - now I must make up for lost time.

 

 

 

The Honor of Public Service - October 23, 2021

 

Why was Colin Powell so highly respected? And respected by many different groups of people?

Since he died earlier this week, I was trying to come up with some reasons for the great respect that so many people had for him. People respected him from so many walks of life. It must also be said that there were some who did not respect him at all. These were in the distinct minority.

Until the last few years, I always thought that public service was an honorable calling. I was so dismayed to see how a certain type of person looked on public service as a way to enrich themselves and not think about making the world a better place. I have found it so helpful to think about Colin Powell as a public servant - who cared enthusiastically about making the world a better place. 

Look at Colin Powell's 13 rules for living:

1. It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.

2. Get mad, then get over it.

3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

4. It can be done!

5. Be careful what you choose.

6. Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.

7. You can’t make someone else’s choices.

8. Check small things.

9. Share credit.

10. Remain calm. Be kind.

11. Have a vision.

12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.

13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

There are people who have come up with such lists for themselves. Some like Stephen Covey widely publicized principles for living lives of purpose and values. I study them and study them and try to apply them to my life. Colin Powell did this his entire life. A life well lived.

It is easy to get down (or at least easy for me!) about people who don't try to seek these inspiring principles. Colin Powell was someone who constantly raised others up. He made us better. How fortunate we are to have lived in the same world as Colin Powell. He was an authentic public servant. God bless him and his family.

 

A Dream that will never be - October 15, 2021

Personal confession: I was never adventurous. You think quickly, "surely you jest." No jest. Totally serious. I might be verbally quick, but physically quick and adventurous, not so much.

I did have a never spoken desire to go off into space and, naturally, return right back to earth. While everyone in popular culture this week was thinking about Star Trek, Captain Kirk, and the rocket which rose 63 miles up and then safely came down, I was thinking about Christa McAuliffe the school teacher who was on the spaceship Challenger today.  I prayed for her and her family this week, the other six astronauts killed with her.  I thought about their courage, going up into the wild blue yonder. I became fascinated with the idea of going up into space at the time of their journey. I never focused on how dangerous it was. I was glued to the TV. I was stunned and so sad when it exploded. My hopes of being an astronaut ended. 

President Reagan spoke words of majesty and dignity on that day: "The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of earth' to 'touch the face of God.' " - Ronald Reagan, January 28, 1986  How hard not to think of the Challenger this week. 

William Shatner, who I watched for years as Commander Kirk on the Starship Enterprise had a successful, if brief, trip into outer space. I'm glad that it was successful. Who knows what new fronteirs we may someday reach or milestones we might reach or conquer. I totally understand those who were dismayed at the expense of the spaceships over the last few months. Maybe it is necessary to expand our frontiers. It would definitely be nice if we could channell the same energy and imagination into curing cancer, climate change, and so many other needs, but I digress!  I was glued to the TV this week.

 

Later that day, President Reagan spoke to the nation: 

"For the families of the seven, we cannot bear, as you do, the full impact of this tragedy. But we feel the loss, and we're thinking about you so very much. Your loved ones were daring and brave, and they had that special grace, that special spirit that says, "Give me a challenge and I'll meet it with joy." They had a hunger to explore the universe and discover its truths. They wished to serve, and they did. They served all of us.

We've grown used to wonders in this century. It's hard to dazzle us. But for 25 years the United States space program has been doing just that. We've grown used to the idea of space, and perhaps we forget that we've only just begun. We're still pioneers. They, the members of the Challenger crew, were pioneers.

And I want to say something to the schoolchildren of America who were watching the live coverage of the shuttle's takeoff. I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave. The Challenger crew was pulling us into the future, and we'll continue to follow them."

We need our dreams. We need to support those whose imaginations and brilliance can help our fractured and fragile world. During the time of the pandemic, we need things to remind us once again that there is a world beyond our world, that they are dreams that can still be met and challenges that can be faced. For even a little while, I don't regret focusing on Captain Kirk. It was fun. It reminded me of one of my dreams that will never be. Perhaps like Mr. Spock, we can each join in the prayer and hope: Live Long and Prosper. And even more importantly, "Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace." 

How can someone look at the pictures of our planet and doubt the existence of God? These pictures just deepen my faith.

 

 

 

 

I Ain't Arrogant! (I hope!) - October 8, 2021

(Time for some introspection)

One of the problems within the Church today can be leaders who are arrogant. I don't like arrogant people.Yet, before you start pointing fingers at me while I'm pointing fingers at other people - please remember - I hope that I'm not arrogant. Now here's the problem. Arrogant people do not think that they are arrogant.  I fear that arrogance is one of those things that are easy to recognize in others, but difficult to recognize in oneself.

When I hear about a situation in a particular parish (hopefully never a parish where I am at!!), often the first thing that come to my mind is that the leaders at that parish are simply arrogant. Follow my line of thought: I do think that one of the driving factors in the awful sexual abuse of children can come from arrogance. Please catch my distinction: I'm talking here about the church leaders who really messed up in straightening out the Church from this awful problem. Those who actually did the abuse were not just arrogant - they were troubled and sick people in so many ways.

Here is another example: what took place in Ireland and sexual abuse: can anyone really deny that the Church in Ireland years ago was simply arrogant. Can anyone listen to some Church leaders who are driving people away and not conclude that arrogance is part of their problem? Arrogance pops up a lot, maybe not all the time, but enough that it is one of these identifiable and, therefore, addressable problems.  

Why was Pope Francis so well received when he was elected pope? He was not arrogant. He was humble. 

Where do I fit into this topic? Good question. Until my life came to a screeching halt and I was totally retired (not completely there yet) - but I must confess that I worry about arrogance. I know that I'm verbally facile, quick on my feet. If I have offended someone, I do try to make amends. Looking back over the years, I think that this is an area where I try to do things right. In terms of arrogance, I try not to be, but seriously doubt that I am always successful, although I hope so.

I have often found it distressingly easy to pick out arrogant people. They stick out like a sore thumb - which is a shame because often they have no idea they are so obvious.

My preference would be to have none of the above qualities, but I probably do. My real preference is to live what St. Paul suggests. I've heard worse examples:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being Polite to the Pope - Is this too much to ask? - October 1, 2021

Father Thomas Reese is a thoughtful Jesuit. (Is there any other kind?) He has been editor of America magazine, columnist for the National Catholic Reporter, and a reporter for the Religious News Service. He has recently written an article for the National Catholic Reporter entitled "Five Rules for Disagreeing with the pope." If you want to read his article, here is the link: https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/five-rules-disagreeing-pope.

You may well wonder if such an article is necessary. Heck, yes. The level of vitriol that has come from the margins of the Church on both sides is really incredible. It is sad, but not remarkable when you consider the level of vitriol that has come from those in the political realm over the past few years.  What an appalling example for children when good parents try to teach their kids manners and to model the best types of civil behavior towards others. We have reached a point in our society and even in our Church when people of good will (defined as those who agree with me!!) are just fed up with the coarseness, the willingness to drag leaders down, the inability to seek to understand the other person's position, nd so many other points. 

Read the article if you want to learn more about Father Reese's insights. They are worth considering. I'm just going to list his points to you can think about them - hopefully it will encourage you to read his article. Here are the five rules he highlighted:

First, be respectful.

Second, if you disagree with a pope, be sure to emphasize the positive things that he has done.

Third, describe the pope's position accurately and completely; do not create a straw man that can be easily knocked down.

Fourth, never speak or write when you are emotionally upset.

FIfth, ask yourself,  would you speak this way to a parent or someone you love?

It is hopefully clear to many that these five rules can apply to the Church, politics, families, and any group that has experienced conflict. I have been thinking about this a few times over the past week. In the course of the week, I came across members of six families who mentioned to me that the ruptures created within their families by political discourse had gotten worse and not healed at all. We have all seen a time of political savagery over the past few years. The situation has been so super-charged in many families that, to even get together, there must be a prior agreement not to discuss anything in the political sphere. This is sad, but this is reality. Tom Reese is using his formidable skills as a journalist to suggest that we start looking at this within the Church. It is not a bad suggestion, especially when we remember that children mimic the behavior of their parents - what kind of thoughtful future we are making impossible? Sigh.

Sadly, the rhetoric from political leaders has influenced the ways in which people treat disagreements or conflict within families, within the Church, within so many areas of our lives.

Do you get in these situations?

 

I had to read this next quote several times to realize how insightful it is. Sigh.

 

How true this statement is - made by a person from the Emerald Isle which has been filled with so much bloodshed over the past century:

 

Maybe we should listen and learn from the example of Saint Francis who has far more to teach us than the folks who keep fighting and arguing and demonizing. Let Francis taming the wolf be a model for our interactions. Sigh.

 

 

 

Inside Baseball - but even more than that: We Can Learn from the Church in Canada- September 24, 2021

Over the years, I have admired a great deal about the Church in Canada.  Why, you ask? Well, their leaders seem sane, balanced, and thoughtful. They are seldom engaged in the "culture wars" which seem to preoccupy the Church in the United States. Speaking just personally, or more precisely, writing just personally, I have been impressed with the way that the leaders of the Church in Canada approach things.  Comparisons are always odious, but they do contain wise kernals of truth. I, as a member of the Church in the United States, would obviously never dream of making negative comparisons between the leaders of the Church in our country and leaders of the Church in Canada.  Would not do this. It would not be prudent  - to quote Dana Garvey parodying the 1st President Bush.

Well, we face a situation within our Church in the United States as we come up to another national election for the presidency.  The bishops, through their action arm, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, have presently been involved in a discussion with each other on allowing politicians to receive Communion if they disagree with the Church teachings on abortion. Frequently, the action of excomunication against the politicians has been mentioned. To say the least, it has been a spirited process.  The bishops seem divided once again on the proper way to offer guidance to our people as they approach another national election. 

Rocco Palmo, the author of the absolutely essential blog, Whispers in the Loggia, recently highlighted the differences in the way the Church in Canada and the Church in the United States offers guidance to voters. He had an insight, as he often does, which made a wise point: The Canadian bishops can issue documents and treat issues without acrimony or lengthy documents. If you wish to read his blog and savor his approach, here is the link: whispersintheloggia.blogspot.com.

Here is the one page document from the Canadian bishops presenting their perspective on issues involved in the upcoming election. It is solid, easily remembered, and coherent:

The Executive Committee of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops encourages all Catholics in Canada to vote in the upcoming federal elections. In preparation, the faithful should reflect on their concerns and aspirations, familiarize themselves with the different party platforms, as well as with the candidates in their respective ridings, and come to a decision about whom to vote for with a free and informed conscience.

When deciding which party to support or whom to vote for, every Canadian follows their conscience. That said, Catholics are called to discern their options on the basis of key principles of the Church’s social doctrine and according to their beliefs:

• respect for the sanctity of human life from conception to natural death;
• protection of religious freedom;
• healing and reconciliation of Indigenous peoples and communities;
• respect for the environment
• the struggle for the eradication of poverty;
• promotion of a fair and equitable economy for all;
• defense of the dignity of work and the fundamental rights of workers;
• establishment of peace domestically and abroad.

The democratic duty of every citizen to vote in an election is likewise a gift and an opportunity to exercise civic and social responsibility. By carefully considering our choices, we help shape the fabric of the society in which we live, as well as the legacy we are leaving to younger Canadians. During an election, Catholics can be faced with difficult choices. For this reason, in addition to informing one’s conscience, reflecting deeply and sharing with others, we encourage the faithful to invoke the Holy Spirit for an outpouring of his manifold gifts so that the electoral process and whatever lies ahead for us may be marked by enduring peace, justice, respect and social order, so that together we strive to build a brighter future for all.

17 September 2021

I like their style. It is genuine, compelling, and treats their citizens as adults. Not a bad approach to take. I wonder if they have brief homilies given by their priests also! I don't know.

Now what was produced in our country by the bishops' conference? Many different materials. There were voting guides, there were also competing guides from interest groups which made an effort to get them in parishes instead of the USCCB materials. I could not find anything even remotely close to the clarity and simplicity of the Canadian materials. Maybe they existed, but I spent a long time going through the USCCB website trying to find something comparable. What is my point in this rather lenghty harange?

It is precisely this:  Keep It Simple, Stupid. Have we forgotten the thoughtful guidelines given to us by Jesus - lamenting those who feel that they will impress God by the sheer multiplication of words.  It is applies to church documents. It should certainly apply to preaching - and so many other things done by our Church in this country.   

Often, in preaching, when I have written out a homily word for word, I usually have an end process where I go through the whole homily and, without any sentimentality whatsoever, I just start slashing words, sentences, paragraphs - that deviate from my main thought. It is not a bad method to use. It works to sharpen what I said - and it works even better when I take the time to do it.

I am standing today on a soapbox. That is OK once in a while. It is even fun. But it is about serious things - namely applying the truths of our faith to our lives. It is worthy of taking the time to be effective and to do it right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still Working on my Bucket List - Jeopardy is no longer on it - Sigh! - September 17, 2021

How many times am I going to be overlooked?

At least since Alex Trebek passed away, I have looked with fondness at Jeopardy. I'm fascinated by the show, tape its segments since I'm usually not able to watch it during its broadcast time and have mused about appearing on Jeopardy. At first, I was trying to find a way to appear as a contestant on the program. I thought to myself - "how difficult can this be. I don't know everything, but I know lots of stuff. It might be a way to warn some extra funds for my retirement. It seemed like a practical way to support my retirement. There was just one problem. The people who appear on Jeopardy are really smart.

My response to that self-assessment is the simple fact that, in many areas, I too am really smart. So over the past few months, I have watched Jeopardy and came up with some conclusions about my intelligence. I watch Jeopardy, answer the questions to myself, and mentally calculate on whether or not I would have won a particular segment of the show.  I begin each segment with enthusiasm. It is really fun. After a few months of this, I had to assess my dreams of being on Jeopardy. Here are my distressing conclusions! I am smart, but not in every area. There are certain categories on Jeopardy where I did not know one area. My knowledge in certain areas was limited and, shall we say, a bit spotty. I brooded about this situation and naturally tried to come up with reasons why the show may be rigged. I watched the unfortunate debacle the show was having in coming up with a proper replacement for Alex Trebik.

Then I came up with a new challenge to take up in my retirement - be a host for Jeopardy! How hard is it to read answers off a card? I could prep for the answers, could pronounce any of the tough words or languages properly, and try to appear moderately charming (I could read a pamphlet about this!)

Today, I had such a rude awakening. I learned that Jeopardy was appointing two people to be the hosts of Jeopardy through the end of this year: Ken Jennings, one of the all-time winners, and Mayim Bialik. Look at their photos at the start of this post. Don't they seem smug and self-satisfied? Bah. They came out of nowhere to now host Jeopardy. I'll concede that Jennings was one of the highest winners on Jeopardy- and Bialik was one of the "try-out" hosts who also appeared on a program about really smart people interacting with each other. I never cared for that show. My thoughtful response to their selection:  Boring.  The most obvious disqualification was the simple fact that they were not me. Sigh. I've lived with the public embarrassment of the standing of the Chicago Cubs this year in the race to the World Series. They were terrible. Now I have this latest humiliation. The only saving feature is that I have kept to myself my intense desire to be considered a host for Jeopardy.  

Do I have a right to be in so much turmoil about not being selected? My obvious conclusion is Yes. Although, I just had a distressing thought.  Does having just posted these deeply held yearnings to be on Jeopardy make me come across as a whining, self-indulgent toddler who did not get his way?

Is this me?

OK - tantrum over. Musings about being on Jeopardy are over. Those who know me best know that I can get on a rant, can carry on, and eventually, sometimes even quickly, work through things. Being on Jeopardy might have been fun. It would have been a hoot. But, let's face it - I have always wanted to be tall - and see how that is working for me.

There are times when I need a break. I need a break from dealing with some things that are just heart-braking. This post is simply a practical method I use sometimes to work past things. Sometimes it is helpful. Sometimes not. But it is helpful right now. This is why I wander in malls and other places to just clear my head - to straighten things out. More often than not, this approach works for me.  It is better than a lot of other methods and does not hurt anyone. 

No porpoises were harmed in the writing of this post, thank goodness. God help me. (And, thank you, God, for nudging me NOT to take myself so seriously)  

Here is my endpoint for this post:

 

 

 

Jesus Still Weeps - September 11, 2021

The above picture is one of my favorite pictures of Jesus. To me, Jesus still weeps - at what has gone on our world.  The evil that has has happened in our world is not in the plan of God, not in the design of God, not caused by God. But it is real nonetheless.Mountain of books and articles have tried to explain the existence of evil. Some even talk about free will. The wisest among them will at least concede that it is complicated. I will also concede that it is frustrating because I want God to protect everyone from being hurt - and this does not happen. Dp we sometimes feel as if "free will" is not always a good thing? I sometimes feel that "freedom of the press" is not always a good thing, even though I eventully come back to earth and appreciate not only this freedom but those who have died to protect all of our freedoms. The world is a complicated place. More so every single day.

9-11 is a simple historical fact, but it is among the most complicated of our hisorical truths. In the midst of all the complexity of causes, reasons, excused, exaggerations, and every other things which has been imposed unto 9-11. Even more important than the verbiage are the countless told and untold accounts of heroism, bravery, and love shown by so many twenty years ago.

Three members of our parish lost their lives on this day. At least 12 other parishioners lost siblings or close relatives. Every person knew someone or about someone who perished. The grief was shared by thousands of parishioners. 

This morning (Sept. 10 as I'm writing this), I was surprised by how quickly the news reports about the first 9-11 immediately caused me and so many others to see that was happening again right now. Other than the death of President Kennedy, this is the only historical event where everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing. People called me and mentioned the same things. 

Here are some of my lingering personal thoughts about 9-11:

I will always be skeptical of certain foreign countries, seemingly friends to the United States, regardless of what others say. These countries have co-opted some of our government and political leaders;

The existence of evil remains one of the easiest religious truths to teach. There can be no doubt of this.

9-11 reinforced for me the pride and respect that I have for members of our armed forces and first responders. I am so proud of those who fought for us in the name of our freedoms. 

I find that I need to make conscious efforts not to have days such as 9-11 simply be routine. It can happen far too easily.

I find that a day like 9-11 is a fierce reminder to always cherish my friends and those I love. Life is sacred. Life is fragile. Life can end so suddenly.

I scrupulously spend at least an hour day praying for people. I include in this time praying for people whom I just cannot stand for various reasons. Sigh.

This 9-11 is another day of sadness, reminding us of so much. Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Francis prayed this prayer at Ground Zero. Pray it today - it joins you with all people of good will:

O God of love, compassion, and healing,
look on us, people of many different faiths
and traditions,
who gather today at this site,
the scene of incredible violence and pain.
We ask you in your goodness
to give eternal light and peace
to all who died here—

the heroic first-responders:
our fire fighters, police officers,
emergency service workers, and
Port Authority personnel,
along with all the innocent men and women
who were victims of this tragedy
simply because their work or service
brought them here on September 11, 2001.

We ask you, in your compassion
to bring healing to those
who, because of their presence here that day,
suffer from injuries and illness.
Heal, too, the pain of still-grieving families
and all who lost loved ones in this tragedy.
Give them strength to continue their lives
with courage and hope.

We are mindful as well
of those who suffered death, injury, and loss
on the same day at the Pentagon and in
Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
Our hearts are one with theirs
as our prayer embraces their pain and suffering.

God of peace, bring your peace to our violent world:
peace in the hearts of all men and women
and peace among the nations of the earth.
Turn to your way of love
those whose hearts and minds
are consumed with hatred.

God of understanding,
overwhelmed by the magnitude of this tragedy,
we seek your light and guidance
as we confront such terrible events.
Grant that those whose lives were spared
may live so that the lives lost here
may not have been lost in vain.
Comfort and console us,
strengthen us in hope,
and give us the wisdom and courage
to work tirelessly for a world
where true peace and love reign
among nations and in the hearts of all.

May God have mercy on these good souls.

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

Are We the Lucky Ones? Chosen Ones? - September 3, 2021

 

With so many awful things happening in our world, I have been reflecting on the difference between Fate and Luck. For example, given the overwhelming research available on how children learn and develop, it is no secret that children in homes with access to books, computers, etc., will do better in school. It is a simple fact. If you live in an area with a higher standard of health care, you will be healthier. It is that simple. You can go on and on and on. Did God decide that we live in such areas are indeed blessed more by God? I don't think so. I just shuddered seeing the suffering of people in Afghanistan, the areas ravaged by overflowing streams, areas hit by tornados - did God favor them or punish them based upon his plan? I don't think so. 

Seeing the poverty in Afghanistan made me reflect on how fortunate I am. Did I earn this comfortable live in southern Morris County? Hardly. But I am grateful.

DId God want to punish people by sending them floods?  Ad nauseum. You get my point.

What to do with these truths?

IN these overwhelming times of devastation, I'm driven to look at how I have been grateful to God?   In the pace of life, it is regretably unfortunate when I have not show enough gratitude. I hate it when other people take me for granted - but I'm afraid that I sometimes do the same thing. While waiting to see if electricity would last through the night and whether the outposts of the Passaic River would overflow and inconvenience my life (horrors!), I laughed at myself and then thought about the things that I take for granted. I quickly decided to become more disciplined about gratitude. I must.

I may be lucky when a tornado decides to go somewhere else. but it is hardly the will of God to send the tornado crashing into buildings and homes. There is a randomness in life that is serendipitous - and out of our control.

What is under our control is the ability to be grateful - to thank God for blessings received - to thank people who have been kind to us - and to more thoughtfully remember not to take people for granted who have been good to us.  

These are not the most profound thoughts - but I believe they are necessary things to remember each day - so I must follow this. 

There are clear benefits to gratitude. I came across this list:

1. Gratitude opens the door to more relationships.
2. Gratitude improves physical health.
3. Gratitude improves psychological health.
4. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression.
5. Grateful people sleep better.
6. Gratitude improves self-esteem.
7. Gratitude increases mental strength

With so many proven benefits to gratitude, then why don't I express more gratitude, especially to God? Guess that I'm not as smart as I thought! Sigh. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you think I could be elected pope in the next papal conclave? Am I a long-shot? - September 27, 2021

(This post is simply an exercise in musing. It means no disrespect to the Holy Spirit. It does not take on political positions. It is just lighthearted speculation. I have been dealing with very serious things lately - and I'm supposed to be fully retired! These things can really get you down. All sort of things that would not be appropriate to mention in this post. So, I just wanted to relax from the very serious things - and speculate on my chances of being elected the next pope.  Haven't you mused about what you would do if you were pope? I know that I have. In my musings, I'm not going to say what I might do as pope.)

WIth some sense of melancholy, I would realistically observe that I am probably not a front-runner in the next papal conclave. But, this is simply because I have not been marketing my name, or brand. I realize that I need a concise, easily remembered slogan. Thus far, the only slogan I can come up with is this concise presentation of my platform: A vote for Jim is a vote for your golden retriever. Catchy? I think so. If you come up with someone who is against such a slogan, then I don't want their support. 

I wonder whether I need to disclose some of the things I would do if I'm elected pope. Probably - so here is just handful of the great things that I can do to help the Church. Snoopy could provide spiritual insights to all the faithful.

Popes wear all kind of fancy clothes, including hats. In fact, if you are not wearing a special hat, how could you be pope? I would want to see how my closest advisers would look in special hats:

Who would not listen to the insights of this trusted advisor?

I am starting to get the feeling that this post will be a lot harder to write than I had planned. Could these controversial thoughts and well-constructed arguments cause rioting in the streets? Well, you never know. There are a lot of crazy people running around. 

How do I present a policy based on Jesus' words about children - unless you become like a little child, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Hmm.

Could this be what Jesus meant:

Oops, darn it, darn it, I'm starting to have trouble with my computer using images. My quandary is choosing between two sorts of actions:  Making myself more stressed so that I can complete the idea I had for this post - even it will dramatically raise my stress level?  OR Ending my work now on this post - and being willing to concede that my computer skills are not what I imagined - and clearly another thing I need to add to my bucket list for retirement topics.

I'm waving the white flag right now. This week has been really hard. I wanted to have a little lighthearted approach this week. It was not to be. So I declare this particular post - "an  unfinished project." What the heck!  Schubert wrote his "Unfinished Symphony" and it did not cause the stars to drop from the sky. So Jim's post can be just a declaration that he's not perfect.  This also means that this perfectionist is getting a little more comfortable with being imperfect. It is a little peaceful reaching this conclusion - and I would like some of that peace that they preach about. 

WIth my West of Ireland cry: Sigh. 

 

 

 

  

 

 

Can't get forgiveness out of my mind! Sigh! August 19, 2021

 

Lately, I have been consumed with the topic of forgiveness. I have been consumed with those who have hurt others, hurt things important to me, who go on their merry little way - leaving wreckage behind them. I have found it very difficult to just blow things off - to move on.  I suspect many people, I know many people have struggled with forgiveness.  This may be the reason why Jesus mentions it so often. This may be why so many things have been written about it. 

We've heard the phrase, "still water runs deep."  Well, newsflash, I'm still water. Always have been. 

Lately, it seems i'm tripping over  a lot of still water. It is frustrating, but possibliy a sign of wisdom, not to say to others the things on my mind. Interwoven with these thoughts is the lingering problem of forgiveness. My mind is constantlyi going - trying to figure things out, trying to make things make sense, trying to find light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not being melodramatic or self-centered. I recognize that so many people struggle with these things. I am fortunate to have some ways that I can share my thoughts. 

The above photo gives one of the perspectives on meditation. When you meditate, you gradually are seeking a reality of settling, of not being overwhelmed by the noise, and finding peace. 

I certainly feel that, since I've retired, I generally have somewhat more peace and less stressthan I lived with for decades.  Some things in my world have shattered, for now, these feelings of more peace and less stress. 

I come face to face with the requirement of forgiveness if I'm going to have lasting peace.  Go back to the quote at the beginning of this post. This is really the key: "Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart." This continues to be one of the most compelling reasons for forgiveness.  

This approach simply presents self-interest.  This is not bad. Self-interest is not wrong. If it gets us closer to Jesus' words on forgiveness, then it can be helpful. 

I'll be darned if I'm going to allow some **%%#@@!!** individuals to push me away from God's love and God's ways.  Possiblly a more satisfying approach is to scream and shout and hurl epithets and carefully constructed expressions of anger and outrage.  I have to reach a calming point where I realize that some people do not deserve the satisfaction of wrecking my inner peace. Let them shout and scream and thinking about kicking little kittens down the stairs. (by the way, this is rhetorical, I'm not going to hurt a kitten - ever!!!!)

I don't want the bad folks to win. I want goodness to win. In my life, that means so much more than all this other stuff.

Pray for me that I can get back on the right path. I'll pray for everyone of you who is strugging with these things as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh Oh - What if Jesus was serious about forgiveness! - August 13, 2021

 

(Confession: I started to write this post when I was really angry. Some things have gone on in my world that are just unconscionable. I wrote some strong sentences in my first draft that showed my literary skills, but very little compassion that Jesus asks me to show. Through my practice of meditation, I came down from my soapbox. I relaxed a little. I tried to become centered on Jesus' words of forgiveness. Did I do it perfectly? Nah. But certainly better than when I started writing this post. I'm still angry, but also filled with an awareness of peace that I desperately want to receive from God. Frankly, the people who made me angry do not merit the attention of adding to my stress. To heck with them. I hope they clean up the mess they made. But, I will also pray and ask God to help them. Sigh. End of confession)

Do you have a problem with forgiveness in your life?  Do you find it hard to forgive? Do you sometimes say, "Well, of course, I forgive, but I will never forget?"

I believe that genuine forgiveness is one of the clearest things that Jesus said. It is also one of the hardest things to do. I can come up with all kinds of self-serving reasons why I may not have forgiven someone who really tried to do me in.

In looking back at my life, there were some people who over the decades really were despicable to me. (Imagine = and I'm such a nice person. What could these people possibly have been thinking? I can go back and forth about forgiveness. I can make excuses why I haven't forgiven. (some of these excuses are quite convincing - at least to me!) Despite the intellectual gyrations that I go through, I finally end up with the message of Jesus to forgive. I cannot nuance it away. I cannot pretend that Jesus did not mean it. It is right in front of me - without qualification. 

I am great at holding onto things, especially thinking about those who did me in. I can come up with reasons why God could not possibly love them. I end up with the words of Jesus once again - Forgive.

Once in a while, I remember that forgiving others is actually in our supreme self-interest. This is not a bad reason to forgive. Jesus is clear that failing to forgive can keep us from heaven. I don't know about you. But not one of those people that tried to do me in is worth not getting into heaven.

Here is the ultimate self-interest quote:

For various reasons, I have been in a lot of high stress situations lately. I don't like this. I know precisely who are the people to blame for my anger. Situations can be complicated, but they cannot be ignored.

When people have been hurt by others, the ones who did the hurting have an obligation to repair the hurt that they have caused. The ones who were hurt have to try ever so slowly, so gently, so steadily, try to forgive.

None of this is easy. Jesus never said it was easy. But it has to be done. He was not kidding!

Sometimes, we find it hard to continue to be with someone who hurt us. Here is one observation that troubles me, but it may offer a way past a tough situation:

I'm not certain about this quote, but sometimes, the hurts are so painful that separation might be helpful. But sometimes, the grace of God can give us the strength to forgive and go on - and embrace the other person through forgiveness. There are no easy answers, but well worth thinking about.

I just know that we have to forgive. If we don't forgive, we are hurting ourselves - and that is not a very intelligent thing to do to ourselves.

If you're stuck on forgiveness, then  pray what I have come to see is the prayer of last resort concerning forgiveness. Here is the grudging prayer of forgiveness you can say, and I think it is valid:

"Lord, if you have it in mind to help this (fill in nasty word or two), then I won't object."  If this is all you can say, pray it. It shows God that you're on the right direction.

Forgive. Be free. Let God pull you through. We are not asked to go on this path all by ourselves. Don't do it alone. Do it with God - and slowly, over time, you will become free. It is worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Encountered any really nasty people lately? August 6, 2021

 

There are various ways to proceed through life. Even Santa gets in on the act - when a song allegedly written by Santa asks if "we've been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes." Bad or good, naughty or nice - these pairs of words can make us smile, but they also apply to real life. And it goes way beyond Santa Claus.  Lest you wonder, I really like Santa - so, if you see him, please pass this along.

Where the heck did this subject for a post come from?  I was in a meeting recently with a person who is in one of the helping professions.  The nature of his life is that he talks with many different people each day. He has done this for decades. At one point in the meeting, he spoke privately about something which was bothering him. He asked if I thought the people that I see are  different than they used to be. I was going to respond No until I stopped and really thought about what he asked. Then I said, "Yes. I have personally come across more nasty people in the last two years than in all my years of being a priest."

I went on to elaborate.  Usually, the people you come across in Church ministry are nice people. There are always a few who are not, but most are nice. This person shared experiences over the past year. He happens to be one of the nicest people I know - and some people treat him like dirt.  I think I'm a nice person, but I still get assailed by people (perhaps they're nice people, but they become "not nice" when they are in front of a keyboard, I don't know.) In my 48 years of being a priest, I only recall 4 people (2 from the parish and 2 concerning the diocese) who ripped me apart face to face rather than through a letter, etc.

But in the last two years, the number of really awful emails and letters has increased dramatically. I have had the kinds of jobs where people have made me the designated recipient of the most awful things they could say when they have problems with the church or church leaders. The last one I received was three weeks ago. The level of anger, vitriol, especially about a situation that I did not cause, usually would have sent my blood pressure skyrocketing. Thanks to my practice of meditation over the last few months, I can keep the blood pressure somewhat lower than in the past. I am profoundly grateful for that. I do not have the strength of character to simply think "well, they are having a bad day." I'm not there yet, but I do hope to be.

I at least think through these situations in ways that I did not do in the past. I instinctively think that this person is really a (insert unsavory word) and that Jesus does not like them. Through the benefits of meditation, I obsess about these things much much less than I ever did in the past.  

I think about the really nasty people. I am fortunate to work in a vocation/job/ environment where I generally encounter mostly nice people. A few have slipped through my impenetrable walls lately, I must admit. God will get them (I calmly pray!). To use my "toddler" vocabulary, some people are just mean. I do pray for them - and more often than not, it is a genuine prayer =asking God to help them. Once in a while, it is still genuine but I would not object if God was too busy helping others to help this person. (I'm human.)

I used to think that, as a priest, I had to simply take whatever might be thrown at me.  I don't believe that any more. Period. End of Sentence. Isn't life complicated?

I do hope that, overall, I live with integrity and Santa will be good to me.  I have been so blessed with extraordinary friends - who keep me going - who gently help me not take myself so seriously- and who are exuberantly nice people.

In the end, at least in our world on this side of the Kingdom of God, we end up with Santa  - just as we began. I hope Santa knows that I've tried really hard to be nice!

As I read the above before hitting "SAVE" - I am baffled how this became about Santa. Must be a reason for this.

 

Making Decisions - Moral Courage - July 29, 2021

It is impossible to capture in just a few words and especially in one or two pictures the emotions and the moral qualities being displayed in the Summer Olympics. The experience of Simone Biles at the Olympics left no one without an opinion. I can't imagine the strength it took for Simone to withdraw from the games - and, in essence, telling the world that taking care of herself was more important than remaining in the competition. It is hard to find anyone who does not have an opinion about her action. Most people who were really into the Olympics seemed to just gasp - and that gasp contained a lot of words. Here are mine as an onlooker:

I was astounded at her incredible courage in making this decision. Not being someone who understood the intricacies of gymnastics, and only enjoyed watching gymnastics - only thinking about the final product and seldom thinking about everything that goes into producing that final moment of performance. I never thought about how dangerous gymnastics actually might be - especially when done at an international level. I thought about the single-minded focus she gave to her preparations for the Olympic games. She spent decades in becoming the best in the world. Then, she decided to make a choice in behalf of her health - and her very survival.

Hearing of her decision, I went right to one of my favorite passages from a speech that Senator Robert Kennedy had given which always stayed with me:

Simone understood there was something more worthy of pursuing than even the Olympic gold. She had the moral courage, when the whole world was watching, of setting aside her dreams and simply doing what was right for her- to save her life. The world gasped - and, as time went on, more and more people understood the wisdom of her decision. (Of course, there were some who disagreed with her decision. That happens with everything today. Some even ridiculed her - and made fun of her. That happens with everything today.) I don't know her. I have never met her. But I was sure proud to have someone like that representing our country at the Olympics. Sure, the Olympics are just a game - but so many important things are integrated into the Olympics experience.

This post comes down to a very important moral point - a point to discuss with children, family, and friends - a point that is worth considering - namely, doing the right thing. This is what Jesus asks of us. This is what we need to ask ourselves: what is the right thing to do?  Sometimes, it is really hard to figure out. Sometimes, it is a torturous process. I've faced some terribly difficult decisions, thankfully not under the unforgiving glare of the Olympics, but important in my own little world. I was wiped out in going through the process of trying to figure out the right thing to do. DId I do the right thing? I think so. I hope so. Would I make the same decision again?  I think so. I hope so.

This seems a wise way to approach tough decisions:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Olympics 2021 - Do Dreams Still Come True? - July 22, 2021

Will the Summer Olympics really be held? What will happen to the dreams of the athletes? Sigh.

Every single day, there are more obstacles that come up for the Summer Olympic Games. To actually make any Olympics happen takes an incredible amount of brains, luck, and just single-minded almost fanatical devotion to results. How would I feel if I were an athlete at those games?  Well, truly, I'm not worrying to compete. I have enough challenges in my life to need to add the pressure of Olympic competition. Hmm, come to think of it - athletic competition has seldom taken up much of my life.  All right, it has taken up almost nothing of my life. But I am a sucker for the underdog. I am a sucker for those who face heartbreak well out of their control. I do have a fascination for those who are the best at what they do. I cannot imagine devoting years to competition for the Olympics and have to face the serendipitous nature of an attack by the Covid virus. 

I remember some decades ago going to a place in Morristown to watch the Olympic torch being carried through the town.  It was exciting. Everyone lined the streets. We all cheered. The torch helped to bring us together as fans cheering for our United States athletes - so many people who wanted their dreams to come true.

Going back even more decades to the 1980 Winter Olympic games at Lake Placid. . Who could forget the cries of our country's cheering our ice hockey team. I might never be on that team, but I would cheer USA USA USA.  Years after that I was walking around the place at Mount Placid where the ice rink had been used for the games. It was so easy to quickly imagine and hear the shouts of the crowds "USA USA USA."  It was almost, but not quite, like actually being present for the games.

The news is filled of heartbreaking stories of athletes testing positive for COVID and not allowed to compete. No spectators will be allowed to be present for the games. Surely, the cries of the crowd help to energize the athletes - well, not this year. So sad.

In case you are not up to speed on important historical figures, here is Jiminy Cricket speaking with Pinocchio:

While I was musing about the problems being encountered this week at the Olympic games, I started thinking about the Disney song, "When you Wish upon a Star" first sung in the 1940 production of Pinocchio. As you no doubt remember, this song was sung in the film by Jiminy Cricket. (editor's note: please note that this is a highly researched post in my blog!) Here is the final verse as sung by Mr. Cricket:

"Like a bolt out of the blue,
Fate steps in and sees you through...
When you wish upon a star,
Your dreams... come... true!"

Our Olympic athletes probably had dreams expressed in those lyrics. Who could not? 

These various events make me think about my dreams, my hopes for my life - and perhaps you have these types of dreams as well. 

I look at the dreams I had. On the not totally realistic side, I always wanted to be tall. I finally have given up (just last week!) on that as a goal - particularly in light of the anatomical research indicating that we actually shrink as we get older! But, as I remember various dreams that I had and try to locate them in time, I see that my dreams became simpler, far less complicated, and, lately, much simpler.

I believe that God wants each of us to be happy - not more complicated. That is my dream = from the vagaries and complexities of today, I just want to emerge happy. Perhaps it is a function of age, or more time spent on spiritual things, but I hope to be quite happy just being happy. I am not there yet. This is my dream. I arguably will not compete in the Olympics, but will compete, ever so gently, in just dreaming and trying to be focused about being happy. I am fine with this. I also pray for the Olympic athletes - may they find happiness in their highly complicated goals of being Olympic champions. May all at the games remain safe.

To end this unplanned Disney montage: I also do not want to grow up.

  

 

 

 

 

Are we in the New Normal? - July 15, 2012

 

The word "normal" gets used a lot, probably more so than quite some time. In the last 15 months, people often mention, usually with fondness, a return to normal. We yearn and pine for the good old days. (note: This is the first time I believe that I have used the phrase "yearn and pine" - don't know why, but it seemed appropriate.) The "good old days" can be a wistful hope about change - too much change, it seems. Why can't things stay the same? (They can't - because if things stayed the same, the Chicago Cubs would remain in 4th place - an unacceptable location.)

I am willing to opt for a "new normal" if it means an increase of peace and predictability. That sounds nice. When I personally feel peaceful, it is a great feeling - realizing that, for far too many decades, I have lived with stress and tension. I don't like it. 

(Spoiler alert: this paragraph is the important part of this post!) While I want things to remain the same, I'm really saying that I want the things I like to remain the same. There is a whole host of things I would want to change. In the midst of speaking about normal, I would like certain things to become normal for everyone (this is if I ruled the world!) I would want good science to be respected and followed. I would want public leaders who make things up to be publicly called out. I would want the virtue of Kindness to be among the most sought-after virtues that people seek. I would want church leaders to see that one of their most important tasks is to bring people closer to God. I would want church leaders to be known for their mercy - and showing Jesus clearly in what they say and do. I would ask arrogant leaders and preachers to go away because they make me tense. I would want all church leaders to be unabashedly pro-life - every stage, every age, every social condition, and include every type of person there is. To exclude any group just seems wrong. To do less is simply not pro-life (in my modest humble opinion). Even though the issues can become real complicated real quickly, I would hope that those who are against COVID vaccinations for children would take a look at the possibility that they could be placing their children in danger of serious disease and possibly death. Look at the data. Follow good science - not the science of politicians or ideologues.  As I look over this collection of thoughts, I realize I could just go on and on with this list. So my "new normal" will be a long list - and probably so is your list. One thing I would hope that each person would do is have an intrinsic respect for the people who take other positions. 

We may never have had this type of "normal", but it is worth seeking.

Some of the steps we must take must be taken tentatively - with gentle respect for others.  Take the example of this scientist. He's not condemning anyone, but gently inviting and inquiring. Not a bad approach.

 

Normal is really complicated. So is life. So are relationships. This is why I will always have more than enough to do every day. One thing I know about retirement is this: I'll never be bored - and that is not  a bad thing. But it would be nice just once in a while.

Being DIsappointed - July 8, 2021

 

 

Disappointments are a crazy thing to handle. We can be disappointed by friends, by non-friends, circumstances, our own faults, and even by what we expect from God. We can be disappointed by a judgment we made about the abilities of someone - and discovered that we were wrong. I'm not wild about being wrong. I'm not wild about being disappointed. I was thinking about this over the past year when events showed that I had made a wrong judgment about someone - qualities I believed they had - a conviction that we had shared values - and a whole plethora of other things.

Here is a gathering or different meanings of disappointment - all can apply:

 

I tend to be fiercely loyal. The downside is that being fiercely loyal can lead to great disappointments. I have worked in a few different jobs where I had to make decisions about many people. In hindsight, my batting average on people's ability was rather good, but not perfect. It really upsets me when I made a wrong judgment about a person. I was never comforted by the inane accurate phrase that no one is perfect. That might be true, but what about the damage that might have been done.  I have tried, when possible, to mitigate any damage that might have come from a wrong decision. Sometimes, it is not an easy thing to rectify. Over time, I did try to look realistically - and certainly some decisions made are judgment calls - no perfect solution. Because I am a worrier and brooder, I would often blame myself if it appeared that a decision was wrong. That's just me, but given my sense of justice, I would always try to change the situation going into the future - sometimes successful, sometimes not. I would often keep repeating to myself the organizational maxim - there are no perfect solutions to practical problems. That might be true, but it never brought me piece of mind.

The causes for disappointment do concern me. The wisdom in the photo below is always something worthwhile to think about.

 

 

Making decisions is a part of life that most people face. It hurts when I have been wrong. I don't take some moments lightly, but always resolve to improve my skills, work on my judgment, and do better the next time confronted with such a situation. This might be a reason why I have spent so much time in my life on self-improvement methods. As one observant wise 0friend said to me about the efforts I made in so many areas for self-improvement, "you should see if you can get a refund on some of those things."

We are each accountable to God for many of the decisions which we have made. This is why I am truly comforted (even for a little while) by this maxim about saints: "saints are sinners who keep trying." So I clearly am a sinner! Want to make something of it?

 

Can/Should I become a lawyer? - July 2, 2012

There are so many important news events crying out for attention this week: the horrendous building collapse in Miami, the Supreme Court decision on voting rights, the inept handling of the electoral debacle in New York, the inept handling of issues involving bishops and politicians, and so many other things. One of the unintended consequences for me in retiring is that I often have the change to stay totally current on the news. I am a news junkie. I read an array of publications - grimace at a few, laugh at some others, but am engrossed by many things taking place in the news.

Where is this going? Simple, one of the careers that I always considered as an option, even now, is to become a lawyer, preferably a trial lawyer. At one point decades ago, I did a serious search of ways in which I could obtain a law degree. I talked on the phone with staff at a few law schools- and never came up with a good school that would award me a law degree without attending class. (I just did not have the time for class, but found no one sympathetic to my difficulty. I would still remain active in my sacred line of work, but this could be an exciting supplement.)

Why the law? I was always fascinated by legal arguments, by the way that law could be used to decide cases, by ways one could be ingenious in the application of law - and use the law to make a difference for good. There were no lawyers in my family. I was fortunate to work closely with a lawyer during my years working for the diocese - a personal of integrity, energy, and intelligence. I came across many lawyers that I respected highly such as our parish attorney. So many other wonderful lawyers were worthy of great respect.

Lest it seem that I am suddenly proposing all lawyers for canonization, I also met some that I believe belonged in hell. This one lawyer was "candid" enough to say to me in my office that he would hurt me and the diocese. This was not a matter of differing opinions. He represented his client by doing all he could to destroy the person he was suing. Facts meant nothing to him. Being involved in that particular case really hurt my health. From that time, I lacked the ability for a few years of getting to sleep at night. This took a great toll on my health. You might conclude that I did not like him or his client. You might possibly be accurate. I also learned during those years that you could say pretty much anything in a lawsuit and do so without penalty or limitation. Bah.

This week caused me to think again of my long-discarded goal of practicing law. I mused to myself that, since I'm retired, why not do it now? I keep adding things to my bucket list for my retirement, rearrange other items, and keep considering what additional things i might like to do.

Being a lawyer kept coming up, but finally, a few hours ago, I did come to my senses - for now. I could help people in need. Perhaps assist the Supreme Court. Maybe not. So I won't keep seeking a benevolent law school - but I'm disappointed that I can't make it happen. It would have been fun. I'll work first on some other things on my bucket list. Then I might place myself on the mercy of the court!

I am gradually becoming a more "tuned in" person through the daily practice of transcendental meditation. Sometime, I'll write about the spiritual and many other benefits I have received from TM. Would recommend it to anyone (except the lawyer and client who was out to really destroy me.)

Who am I to argue with Snoopy and Charlie Brown?

 

 

 

Can we have integrity and accuracy in the surveys we use - in religion and politics? June 25, 2021

Reminder: This is a personal blog - and does not represent anyone's thoughts other than my own. Sometimes, I'm working through my own thinking. Sometimes, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes, I'm just plain having fun. Sometimes, I'm just being impish. Sometimes, I'm really ticked. Sometimes, I'm on a soapbox. Sometimes I'm really frustrated. This blog could have little pieces of each of these things. I realized that I had left out a very important point - so I just added it below.

(I am not weighing in on the present contretemps between the Vatican and the US Bishops' conference regarding politicians and receiving Communion other than to make this little point: WIthout much thought or effort at all, suddenly this issue became a political issue fueled by the bishops' conference rather than a national time of greater appreciation for the Eucharist.)

This is an unsettling time in the Church. The national bishops' conference is certainly not playing well with the Vatican. The majority of the bishops in the conference see no need to follow the guidance of the Vatican and the pope. Some surveys being used by certain groups in these matters seem, in my thoughtful judgment, to have been designed by the rather happy amateur sociologist in the above photo - just my hunch.

I am keenly interested in high quality sociological analysis. Political campaigns use and distort findings to prove their points. Some politicians manipulate data to correspond with their own thinking. Some of those who present results of surveys save themselves the time and just print what they want. The same thing can happen when church people use research. Some of the surveys that have been released recently about attitudes and issues on the Eucharist violate some basics of good sociology. Shame on them. It's a strange world. I really don't know why the fellow in the photo is so happy. Maybe he just got paid for his latest survey. Hopefully he did not receive more salary than a bunch of bananas.

Do you get the feeling that this blog is a little scatter-shot? I am careening from topic to topic - but with one overriding point: our Church will benefit when good valid research is used. Our society and political campaigns will benefit when good valid research is used. Until that point, decisions will continue to be made with misleading data.

When I came across this photo earlier today, it made me laugh, but also started me thinking. Why can't we insist that Church people present clear results of surveys with carefully written questions? Why do we tolerate political leaders who just make up things and present them as data? 

Until that time, these people may be given more and more bananas for their "work." This does not seem right.

Is there a spiritual point to this blog?  Actually, yes.  I believe that each of us is placed here on this earth by God to do and to be the very best we can be. Just look at the lines above dealing with religion and surveys. The religious point is not that some things put out in the name of Church leaders are really not that good. Mediocrity about things dealing with our service to God's people really tick me off. If what we do is about God  - if what we do is meant to give people a reason to belong to the Church - and, yes, a reason to come back - to keep coming back - then don't we owe our people more than mediocre misleading surveys? That is insulting to our people and nor worthy of our respect before God. 

I work very hard on my homilies. Once in a while, I coast - and don't put everything I have in them - and I don't feel good about it. The people deserve better than this. God deserves better than this. I have to see Church people get away with giving their people a "work product" that is much less than our best. We don't need to be intellectual pygmies. We need to work like heck to do out best and give our best to our people. If we don't, then get in another line of work.

When I was in grade school in Illinois, we had a priest in one of the parishes who used to go berserk about some priests whom he called "intellectual pygmies." Never knew what he was talking about until I had been a priest for a few years. Simply put, he was impatient with priests who did not give their ministry (God) everything they had. I don't think this is arrogance, but I really have little use for priests who don't give their very best to their preaching and to their care of their parish - priests who are not relentless in coming up with best possible ways to serve their people - to preach their homilies.

Having said all this and stood on several soapboxes just in this blog, may I add something more important than everything I wrote above? We have some priests who may not work as hard as they can at the tasks of ministry, but they do work hard at being kind. I get the most upset at priests who are not relentlessly kind. That counts more than everything else. I have encountered some priests who people think are incredibly talented, but deep down they are not kind.  I'll take kindness any day of the work.